FAABnalysis -- 10/21/15

I realized this week why I'm making fewer trade offers, griding gears in FAAB, sitting at 2-4, and struggling to get juiced about fantasy football in general: I'm not excited about any of the "new" players on the scene.  Lets break it down.

• I mean, the Red Rifle is balling out, and of course I love that... and of course I love the Bengals being 6-0 (WHO DEY!)

• Blake Bortles is a top-5 QB?  Does anyone actually think that's for real?
• Carson Palmer.  Fartsound.
• Tire-rod Taylor, former Hokie.  Fartsound.
• Yado drafted Devonta Freeman, and it's been cool to see him absolutely explode this season and power the Hezballers to a 6-0 start... but like with Bortles... does anyone think that Freeman (or the Falcons, or specifically the Falcons' running game) is for real?

• Mark Ingram's mid-career surge is interesting, but JPA overdrafted him (which now seems like a fairly smart pick), and nobody is excited about the sad state of affairs in New Orleans.  That team looks like crap.
• Chris Ivory is a top-5 RB.  That's a very un-sexy runner in a very un-sexy offense putting up boner-worthy numbers.
• Muscle Hamster, doing some post-hype work, but the Bucs suck.
• Carlos Hyde looks decent, but it also looks like a fragile situation.
• Dion Lewis... just had a sub-5-point game, and who ever knows how Belicheat is going to deploy his backs?
• Danny Fucking Woodhead is a top-15 running back.  Yawn.

• Nuke Hopkins is having an exciting breakthrough campaign, so that's cool.
• Who is Travis Benjamin?  I think that's another situation - like with Bortles and Freeman - that a top-5 player at his position thru 6 weeks ends up outside the top-20 at his position for the rest of the season.
• James Jones???
• Tyler Eifert is a super-sexy breakout.
• Gary "Big Play" Barnidge?  He's the Bortles/Freeman/Benjamin of tight ends.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe I'm just pissy because I've been losing.  Fantasy football is ALWAYS awesome, I just don't feel the torso-splitting torque this season that I usually experience.  Am I alone in that sentiment?

This week's FAAB has a chance to help start reversing that trend, by the way.  Ben's $23 claim of Stefon Diggs is, in my humble opinion, the second-sexiest auction victory (behind Charcandrick West) of the season.  Diggs looks, feels, and plays like he's trying to be the Vikings' go-to guy.  A 5th round rookie with young Victor Cruz peripherals.  Gotta love that.  Nice claim for Ben, walking into the lion's den and snatching Diggs away from $22-bidding Pink Nightmare and $19-bidding Bruisers.  Rookie and Nathan also had Diggs on their radar.  Where was everyone else?  A fucking travesty we didn't have 10+ teams bidding on this guy.

Meanwhile, may I add: FUCKING SHIT, FUCK FUCK FUCK, I REALLY WANTED STEFON DIGGS! ONE FUCKING DOLLAR!?!? FUCK!

Deep breath.

And release.

I guess Kirk needed a cube for the A-Rodge bye week, but I really think an $11 claim on Brian Hoyer was a bit extravagant.  Coulda landed that shittbutt for free.  This bid was like buying a Big Mac meal at McDonald's and then dropping the cashier a $20 tip.  Kirk, here's a tip for you: I know you got lucky with Hoyer once before, but the reality is that he sucks.  Sorry, brother.  All the same, thanks for delivering the week's #2 claim, and for setting an appropriate price for a decent bye-filler at QB.

Eric Kendricks for $5?  Now who's slinging out money in unnecessary increments?  Truth be told, I've had my most fun at fantasy football this season doing the weekly DP grind.  What can I say?  I got stuck on the rails of the Kendricks hype train.  I do think he's a top-10 DP rest of season, so fuck the haters.

Yado bid the same five bucks on Antwon Blake.  Gotta be honest, I have no idea who that cat is.  He's a total unknown to me.  Oh, and the Steelers and all their fans can die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.

Ben bid $10 on James Starks, but already had Diggs filling his hole, so missed out.  That was bon chance for Paulie, who reeled in Starks for $4.  A mere pittance if Starks ends up being the Packattack's bellcow.  But gazing into my crystal ball... he isn 't... and he won't.  The past preludes the future on this one, I'm afraid.  James Starks is a decent real-life backup, and at best a fantasy football roster-filler.

Moves like landing Benjamin Watson for $4 is a good example of why Chad is sitting at 4-2 right now.  Smart football.

...What's maybe not so smart is Dannell Ellerbe for $4.  Sure, 14 tackles in week 6.  But, y'know, groin injury suffered in that same game.  Ellerbe is a good player who just happens to be made of glass.  None of that matters to Chad, though, because he followed up the Ellerbe claim with a $4 Michael Wilhoite claim.  Looks like Chad is hellbent on upholding his reputation as the defensive player whisperer here in the CKL.  Hell, it won him a Cup, so nothing but respect out of me.

Michael Floyd for $2.  Why do I insist on torturing myself?

Rookie threw the two-week boomerang with Kyle Rudolph.  Not a bad one dollar deal when you're talking about a young(ish) guy with undeniable talent and an improving quarterback.

That was all of the noteworthy action this week.

Stefon Diggs should have gone for $50, and 10+ CKL teams should have been bidding.  We're still doing FAAB wrong, people.  Step the fuck up.