Nathan's Nits - Week 7

The Nits are back after a longer than expected layoff. No reason. No excuses. Just didn't happen. And I can't promise this is a proper article. But I've got a few things I want to share with you, and I do have updated numbers to share with you at the end.

Week 5 - Barclay Street Bruisers

It went uncelebrated, but back in Week 5 Paul had the single greatest game in the 13+ seasons of CKL fake football. This lead me down a particularly squirrely rabbit hole, where I had to verify this fact. Check out this table, which shows all CKL individual game scores of 130.0 or above, since the beginning of CKL time (through week five of this season).

Team	Season	Week	Points
Barclay Street Bruisers	14	5	162.5
Pink Nightmare	10	15	158.3
Pink Nightmare	5	9	157.6
Pink Nightmare	12	1	152.9
Blackpool Penguins	11	12	148.8
OO Pro	14	3	148.4
Kick Azz Giants	3	13	148.0
The Flaccid Stick	6	3	147.5
Barclay Street Bruisers	12	13	147.4
The Magic Stick	12	14	147.2
THUNDER BEAR	11	9	146.8
Voodoo Brown	12	14	146.2
Juris United	6	6	144.6
Juris United	10	14	143.3
Blackpool Penguins	13	14	143.0
Pink Nightmare	5	8	142.6
DaleJr ShrimpCruiser	3	10	142.0
TM Pending	5	12	140.2
monosyllabic acronym	2	4	140.0
Glitterfist Lasersnakes	13	5	140.0
Double-O Daddy	12	13	139.4
Pink Nightmare	11	12	139.3
The Magic Stick	13	13	139.0
Nth Degree	4	3	138.0
Jesus the Moose	11	10	137.9
Double-O Daddy	10	2	137.7
Achilles Heels	8	6	137.6
Juris United	8	6	137.0
THUNDER BEAR	7	2	136.7
Achilles Heels	6	9	136.1
Blackpool Penguins	11	2	136.0
The Champeens	9	15	135.4
Double-O Daddy	11	16	135.2
Kweens Killahs	3	15	135.0
Nth Degree	6	14	134.7
The Sexy Badasses	12	1	134.7
Jesus the Moose	12	2	134.7
Jesus the Moose	10	12	134.5
Barclay Street Bruisers	11	6	133.9
The Hezballers	13	12	133.2
Pink Nightmare	3	16	133.0
Jesus the Moose	11	3	132.9
Pink Nightmare	8	14	132.4
Kick Azz Giants	10	13	132.3
Pink Nightmare	4	11	132.0
Achilles Heels	9	9	131.3
The Sexy Badasses	13	4	131.3
Blackpool Penguins	11	15	130.9
Jesus the Moose	12	8	130.9
The Sexy Badasses	13	13	130.8
Pink Nightmare	12	15	130.5
Barclay Street Bruisers	12	4	130.3
THUNDER BEAR	11	1	130.2
The Magic Stick	12	4	130.1
Nth Degree	3	12	130.0
Pink Nightmare	4	5	130.0
Voodoo Brown	12	12	130.0

A few comments:

• It's very telling how many of the top games came from Kendall's Pink Nightmare.
• Some of these names are like leafing through old photos you drunkenly stumble upon every couple of years in your basement.
• Admittedly, 130 points is arbitrary, but whatever.
• The average season of these games is 9.24. Which means we're scoring way more points now than we did before. Makes sense, as I think the rule changes over the years have favored higher scores. That, and NFL offense/scoring is up across the same period as well.

The Numbers

All Play Numbers

• It's been a while, but it certainly should come as no surprise that Yado has the top spot. Rivers, Freeman, Gostkowski. It's quite the crew Mr. Yakub has assembled in the Middle East.
• Weird to see Paul's BSBs so low in the table despite the third best average in the league. Just wait, it gets worse for Paul.
• Russ has moved into the cellar and is fading. Fast.

Luck

• Joe is historically lucky at this point of the season. He's nearly a full game better than anyone has after been after seven weeks. Or at least back to 2011 when I started doing this. Joe is officially "crazy lucky."
• Ben is the unluckiest, but perhaps not unlucky in love?
• This table hates Russ. Only have two wins!? Well, consider yourself lucky.
• Is there a good synonym for lucky?

Hotness

• Paul's historic Week 5 casts a long shadow.
• The league seems a little top heavy this season.
• BlackBelt BrownBear, the current Blue pennant leader, second from last.

Jenna Von Oy

• Ben and Jenna have history. They're clearly two neighboring pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
• Paul is right there though.
• From roughly Pink down, wins needs to be had. We're only halfway home, but these teams need to trend up. And only Kendall is doing that right now.

Playoff Seeding

• Check it out, the first new table in several years!
• This shows your current playoff seed, your seeding change from the previous week, wins/losses, and total points. The idea is to make it a little easier to see exactly where you stand and what you need to have happen to improve your lot.
• Corey is the current cuckold of Ms. Von Oy---he has a playoff caliber record but hasn't scored enough points. Best of luck holding off Ben and Paul, Corey---those two are professional lady killers.