Thanksgiving FAABnalysis 11/27/14

This version of FAABnalysis is coming at you cold brewed, Rocky Mountain Style.  That is, watered down and only really "analysis of free agent auction bids" in name.  We are late in the season, most of us are broke, and it is Thanksgiving week.  There were only 6 successful money bids this week (20 total pick-ups).  Add to that an author that has made such stellar FAAB pickups as Allen Hurns for $27 and AJ Hawk for $7 and you get a delicious, pale, ineffectual product that might please the masses, but is much too low-brow for the mighty CKL.  Still, it will do the trick in a pinch, so enjoy the silver bullet of FAABnalysis.

Where the money was spent

LeGarrette Blount - $21 to Kick Azz Giants
Other bids: Kirk - $10, Paul - $6, Rook - $5, NoBunn - $3, Ben/Nate/Kendall/Joe - $0)

This week's obvious quality addition, Blount found himself a free agent in both fake and real football recently.  We all know he has talent (see: previous keeper), but we also know his head has not been on straight when the game is over (see: Boise punch, endless marijuana jokes, etc.).  I am not sure how long Blount can maintain discipline or how Belichick will roll out his always-perplexing backfield.  Regardless, LeGarrette is a gem of a waiver-wire add this late in the season.  I am sure Derrick will start him.  The VooDoo Brown hates to see KAG improve this much through FAAB.

Damn, LG!

Stedman Bailey - $6 to Sexy Badasses

Other bids: Nate - $0

Too Easy?

Ah, the Rams' receiving corp.  Who will be next?  It is hard to put real stock in any Ram wideout, because there has not been any real lead there since the Brian Quick injury and the QB situation is one of the worst in the NFL.  A $6 winning bid is probably about the right level of risk on Steds breaking out.  He's not yet sexy or a badass, but who are we kidding, he's not starting either. 

Charles Johnson - $3 to Barclay Street Bruisers

Other bids:Ben/Kendall/Joe - $0

I feel like I could just rewrite the same thing as I did for Stedman Bailey with a quick "find and replace".  Decent pickup for the price paid, but...yawn.

Caleb Sturgis - $2 to Trophy Husband

Thomas Davis - $1 to Blackpool Penguins

Matt Prater - $1 to Kick Azz Ginats

Other Bids: who cares?

Holy shit, I could drink a hundred Coors Lights and still pass the field sobriety test.

Bids that didn't cost a dime, but were mildly significant

• Zach Mettinberger: Dream Smasher.  Please make waves rookie QB.
• Darren McFadden and James Jones: Dream Smasher.  I need lots of Flex fill-in help.  At least one will start this week.  You owe me, Run DMC!
• Tim Wright and Jermaine Gresham: Hezballers.  As painful as it would be to see Tim Wright start for Yado, he may not have a better option.  Injuries and putrid TEs this year lead to chumps like Timmy getting a start.  Not sure Yado meant to get both of these guys.  Friday drop?
• Alex Smith and Colt McCoy: Rainbow Wolf.  Alex Smith gets another start?  Or will it be Colt?  Nathan gets another QB in the rotation either way.  Time to research the highnest number of unique QBs a team has ever started in a year, Nate.
• Shonn Greene: Trophy Husband.  Significantly funny.  
• Michael Bush: VooDoo Brown.  Wow!  I am a Cardinals fan and didn't notice they signed Bush.  Uh, I guess Joe abhors a vacuum as much as nature.  Roster spot filled.

I take it back.  The analogy of this week's FAAB to Coors Light is over-stated.  At least the Silver Bullet has its time and place (a six-plus hour party, beer pong, stranded on a deserted island).  This felt more like an alcoholic drinking vanilla extract when there is no other booze in the house.  Sigh.