Week 11 - Predictions from the Corner Office. Birthday Parties, Car Shopping, Public Transportation, Drinking, Drunk Texts, and Salsa.

Kirk: What is up spoiler. 2:27 PM

Ben: Just sitting here thinking how sweet it will be to eliminate Chad's playoff chances. 2:29 PM

Kirk: You are the bad guy now. Which has to be a good feeling. All through life they tell us to be the nice guy. For the next 3 weeks you get to crush dreams. 2:30 PM

Ben: How fun! 2:42 PM

Ben: Dreamcrusher. 2:42 PM

Kirk: Temporary team name? 2:49 PM

Kirk: I mean in theory you could kill off Chad then either Joe or myself. 2:49 PM

Kirk: I really want to put a death nail in Patrick this week, and eliminate that upstart from contention. 2:51 PM

Ben: I can taste the blood. 3:13 PM

Ben: And yes to the team name. Coming soon. 3:14 PM

Kirk: You got time to blow through these games today? 4:01 PM

Ben: I will in about an hour. 4:07 PM

Break Fact!!!

Ben: Let's go! 5:42 PM

Kirk: Sorry my boss and I starting talking about Inventory Turnover expense and Floorplan Interest. 6:58 PM

Kirk: Cause that's what you do when you are in charge. 6:58 PM

Ben: Sounds riveting. 6:58 PM

Kirk: I'm a numbers guy so that is my meth. 6:59 PM

Ben: Hmmm. Meth is my meth. 7:00 PM

Ben: Seriously, I have never even seen meth. 7:00 PM

Kirk: I saw it on Breaking Bad like a million times 7:00 PM

Ben: Doesn't count 7:01 PM

Ben: Hollywood glommed it up for you 7:01 PM

Ben: Glammed that is 7:02 PM

Kirk: The closest I came to Meth was when I was drinking with this very said alcholic in Fayetteville. 7:02 PM

Kirk: He looked over at me and said, "I'm all out of crack, but i know this guy who has some Meth." 7:02 PM

Kirk: I figured out right then, that is the people that listen to my radio show. 7:03 PM

Kirk: He was really excited to tell me about the guy too. 7:03 PM

Kirk: He apparently was "close by" and wasn't a "cheap ass bitch." 7:04 PM

Ben: Did the other guy come over and say, "What has two thumbs and tons of meth?" 7:04 PM

Kirk: haha 7:04 PM

Ben: This guy!!! 7:04 PM

Ben: It is Rhett's first birthday, so we'll probably have another interrupted set of updates. 7:05 PM

Kirk: No problem man. I will text and wait as is my method. I am building power points all night like a boss. 7:05 PM

Ben: Make it rain 7:06 PM

Kirk: My wife did this for my kids. She got a birthday hat and makes them wear it every year on their birthday. 7:07 PM

Kirk: It was cute and appropriate at first, and now it is embarrassing and awesome. 7:07 PM

Ben: Bribery for the high school years. 7:08 PM

Ben: I am freezing my balls off at a bus stop. 7:10 PM

Ben: It is supposed to hit zero tonight. Fuck the North in winter. 7:11 PM

Kirk: Where the fuck is your driver? 7:12 PM

Kirk: You tell her to get to getting. 7:12 PM

Kirk: I of course assume your driver is a woman. 7:12 PM

Ben: I think you are right. 7:14 PM

Kirk: How are you riding the bus Ben? When did you rejoin the plebs? 7:16 PM

Kirk: How much money is your company losing for every moment you are not working and waiting on public transportation? 7:16 PM

Ben: Car broke down. 7:17 PM

Ben: It isn't so bad when you don't have to worry about polar bears. 7:17 PM

Ben: Think if I whine enough they'll get me a company car? 7:18 PM

Kirk: Is this one of Pearl Jam moment, when you sleep in your car for a few days to understand hardship again? 7:18 PM

Kirk: Who are they? Are you they? 7:18 PM

Ben: No, this is just stupid. 7:18 PM

Ben: Owners. 7:19 PM

Ben: Looked at a sweet VW CC 7:19 PM

Ben: Sell me a car Kirk. 7:20 PM

Kirk: 10,000 people report to you and you're living out a Violent Femmes song. Yeah they should get you a car. 7:20 PM

Ben: So cold...so so cold. 7:21 PM

Kirk: So what happened to Ben? 7:21 PM

Kirk: Killed by a bum on the bus because we decided not to have perks for the management group. 7:22 PM

Ben: Ah, here comes route 5 7:23 PM

Kirk: I was riding with our Director of Operations from Raleigh to Southern Pines. SUV blows a tire. 7:23 PM

Kirk: 10 minutes later a guy was apologizing and handing me a bottle of water for my trouble. We got in his car and he wait with the broken on. 7:24 PM

Kirk: He apologizes to me for the fact my boss ran over a nail. 7:24 PM

Ben: You are a high roller 7:24 PM

Ben: Or your boss is. 7:24 PM

Kirk: No I was the dumbass who didn't know how to lower the spare on a QX80. 7:25 PM

Kirk: It is surprisingly not obvious. 7:26 PM

Ben: So what should I buy, car salesman friend? 7:26 PM

Kirk: Let's narrow things down. Do you want to drive around with your family? 7:27 PM

Ben: Need AWD or 4WD 7:27 PM

Ben: Room for 4 7:27 PM

Kirk: SUV or Wagon? 7:27 PM

Ben: Torn. Even looked at crew cab trucks. 7:28 PM

Kirk: Why do you want a truck? 7:28 PM

Ben: But for good measure and easy convo, I'll go wagon. 7:28 PM

Kirk: DO you enjoy moving your friends' stuff. 7:29 PM

Ben: You are judged less a man in MT without a truck. 7:29 PM

Ben: But I am less a man, so... 7:29 PM

Kirk: Truck I would go with the 15 Ford F-150. Brand new Aluminium body 7:30 PM

Kirk: Great style, terrific look, and excellent fuel economy. 7:31 PM

Ben: Let's steer away from the truck. Not really me. 7:31 PM

Kirk: Also....American. 7:31 PM

Ben: CKL is gonna love this blabbering exchange that is not about FF. 7:32 PM

Kirk: We get what you pay for. 7:33 PM

Kirk: Besides our column is much more than football now. When we did just to predictions no one like it. 7:33 PM

Kirk: I would go with Subaru for a wagon. I don't see you as a Volvo guy. 7:34 PM

Kirk: New Outback Limited for 30k, and I assume in Montana they are all over the place. 7:37 PM

Kirk: VW is going to introduce a Golf Sportwagen TDI 4Motion in American new yearish. 7:39 PM

Kirk: Diesel AWD wagon. It looks like a VW 7:39 PM

Ben: Yeah I like VWs. That CC with 4-motion was badass. But not a wagon. 7:39 PM

Ben: TDIs scream too 7:40 PM

Kirk: 50-hp, 2.0-liter turbocharged diesel four-cylinder with six-speed manual or dual-clutch automatic transmissions 7:40 PM

Kirk: 150-hp, 2.0-liter turbocharged diesel four-cylinder with six-speed manual or dual-clutch automatic transmissions 7:40 PM

Kirk: That would actually be a cool car to have, and driving geeks would hail you as a king. 7:41 PM

Ben: Right now I am a peasant at the bus stop yearning to be king. 7:42 PM

Ben: Sell me a TDI wagon so I can be somebody. 7:42 PM

Kirk: Here in the South the best I can do is front wheel drive though. I do have a 2010 VW Jetta Wagon TDI for 15k. 7:44 PM

Ben: Pretty good 7:46 PM

Ben: Birthday party time. 7:46 PM

Ben: Later 7:46 PM

Kirk: Later. 7:47 PM

Ben: Wrap this up today? 3:14 PM

Kirk: I'm in 3:38 PM

Kirk: In an hour? 3:38 PM

Kirk: Okay let's do this.... 5:31 PM

Kirk: You and Chad 5:32 PM

Kirk: You bring Russell Wilson, Jamaal Charles (RB), Larry Fitz (WR), TY Hilton (WR), Cordarrelle Patterson (WR), and Heath Miller (TE) 5:33 PM

Kirk: Chad has Ryan Tannehill (17.8 points), Darren Sproles (RB), Bishop Hankey (RB), Antonio Brown (WR), E Man Sanders (WR), and Jordan Reed (TE) 5:34 PM

Ben: Tough one. 6:19 PM

Ben: But I said I was going to beat Chad, so... 6:19 PM

Ben: Tannehill produced last night though. 6:20 PM

Kirk: I still think you got this and Chad will finish 5-8 8:39 PM

Ben: Dreamsmasher 9:45 PM

Ben: Under the gun now. A Saturday push to wrap it up? 4:29 PM

Kirk: Going to eat. Maybe later but maybe drinking 4:31 PM

Ben: That's a given. Drinking and CKL analysis go hand in hand. 4:31 PM

Kirk: If so I will be very drunk. At least that is my plan. 4:32 PM

Kirk: I only say this because you are implying that you can be drunk texted later 4:33 PM

Ben: I'll try to reciprocate. 4:33 PM

Kirk: Very good. This should bookend finding you a car very nicely 4:34 PM

Break Fact

Kirk: Super drunk now 9:46 PM

Kirk: Is Patrick going to beat me 9:47 PM

Kirk: I don't want that 9:47 PM

Ben: I can beat that. 11:52 PM

Ben: Super drunk and at a dancing event. 11:52 PM

Ben: Salsa, no less. 11:52 PM

Ben: It is a disaster. 11:52 PM

Ben: But no, you will bat Patrick. Yours is a charms season. 11:52 PM

Kirk: Super drunk. Doubled down and hit 3 bars 11:53 PM

Kirk: I'm glad to hear that 11:53 PM

Kirk: I hope to win through just enough 11:53 PM

Ben: Judith is holding you (drunkly) in the light. 12:03 AM

Kirk: Kim is sleeping and holding your team in the light 12:04 AM

Ben: BTW - Judith says you and Kim have always been among her favs of my friends. 12:04 AM

Kirk: Ah that is very sweet. Kim says the same 12:05 AM

Kirk: She also said please don't text Ben pictures of your penis when you drunk text him later 12:05 AM

Kirk: So sorry. No duck pics 12:06 AM

Ben: I demand penis pics! 12:06 AM

Kirk: Sorry. I made a promise 12:06 AM

Ben: Ok :( 12:07 AM

Ben: Weirdest predictions column ever. 12:08 AM

Ben: Love it. 12:08 AM

Kirk: So mark vs Yado 12:09 AM

Kirk: Mark sucks at 3-7 12:09 AM

Ben: Yado sucks too. 12:10 AM

Kirk: Yado starts his first week of sucking at 4-6 12:10 AM

Kirk: Yado is 4-6 12:10 AM

Ben: And sorry, but I am saps dancing with my wife, so... 12:10 AM

Ben: Be back soon. 12:10 AM

Kirk: He is new to sucking 12:10 AM

Kirk: Okay. Keep on 12:11 AM

Ben: Who's next? 12:23 AM

Ben: Feels like we have to do our duty after Russ called us out last week. 12:24 AM

Kirk: Russ called is out 12:24 AM

Kirk: Dick 12:24 AM

Kirk: Do a weekly column and understand commitment 12:25 AM

Kirk: So Russ vs Doc 12:25 AM

Kirk: Russ is the clear favorite but fuck a mother ducker 12:26 AM

Ben: He traded me to become a behemoth and me become a future contender. 12:27 AM

Ben: It was a good play. 12:27 AM

Ben: Russ will run this by a longshot. 12:27 AM

Kirk: Yeah... Duck him 12:27 AM

Kirk: So Norris and Kendall 12:28 AM

Kirk: Wait 12:28 AM

Kirk: Paul and Ke fall 12:29 AM

Ben: Love that we are mailing it in after all that bullshit. 12:29 AM

Kirk: Paul is rolling with Mark SancheZ 12:29 AM

Kirk: I can barely type 12:29 AM

Ben: San-chize? Really? 12:30 AM

Kirk: It is diaster and Paul's team 12:30 AM

Kirk: He is still favored 12:31 AM

Kirk: I am pulling for the Kendall Phoneix 12:32 AM

Kirk: I almost traded for Palmer last week 12:33 AM

Ben: Paul still has Manning to offset the loss. 12:37 AM

Ben: He had to know Palmer was a risk. 12:38 AM

Ben: Eli is a good backup. 12:38 AM

Ben: Is that even right? I am going from memory. 12:38 AM

Kirk: You are right Eli is the back up 12:39 AM

Kirk: I give this to Kendall 12:40 AM

Ben: Hmmm. 12:40 AM

Ben: I still love Paul's team 12:41 AM

Ben: West Coast! 12:41 AM

Kirk: Fair enough 12:41 AM

Ben: We have three now. 12:41 AM

Kirk: Okay can Norris possibly save his shit 12:41 AM

Kirk: He plays Nathan 12:42 AM

Ben: West coast bros, we gotta get together. 12:42 AM

Ben: He is strong. 12:42 AM

Ben: Nate is weak. 12:42 AM

Ben: (So am I) 12:42 AM

Ben: Surely Norris wins this one. 12:43 AM

Kirk: Josh MCCown is Baths's QB 12:43 AM

Kirk: Nate's QB 12:43 AM

Ben: Ouch! Fuck! 12:44 AM

Kirk: It's a spiral of ahot 12:44 AM

Kirk: Shit 12:44 AM

Kirk: Rookie and Joe 12:45 AM

Kirk: Both 6-4 12:45 AM

Ben: Tough choice. 12:45 AM

Kirk: I'm going with Joe 12:46 AM

Ben: Thisay be Rookie's year. 12:46 AM

Kirk: Okay spilt 12:47 AM

Ben: New kid, he is doing awesome in Gridiron, and the CKL. 12:47 AM

Kirk: We are done 12:47 AM

Kirk: We did it 12:47 AM

Ben: Ahhhhhh! 12:47 AM

Ben: Go to sleep. 12:47 AM

Ben: Love you, man. 12:48 AM

Kirk: Drunk love you too 12:48 AM

Kirk: Salsa one for me 12:48 AM

Ben: I danced. Now I will be rewarded... 12:49 AM

Kirk: Well done sir 12:50 AM