Wednesday FAABnalysis -- 10/3/12

You guys understand that you're supposed to hit play on the video and listen to the song while you read FAABnalysis, right?  I think it's obvious, but I never know.

Today, $67 was spent on 11 money claims.  That's $6.09 per claim.  We also saw another 12 claims made for $0 -- bye weeks must be upon us, and the IDP shuffle has begun in earnest.

New this week, I am grading the claims made at $5 or over.  I take into account the bid amount, the player's talent, upside, and opportunity, and the need for the player on the team claiming him.  This grade is just meant to be a conversation piece.  Please don't go apeshit bananas if you disagree.  Don't get butthurt.

Okay, here we go...


Chaz Schilens -- $21 to Kirk
dropped: Santonio Holmes / other bids: $6 to Nathan
Kirk lost a commodity when San Antonio Holmes went down, and so he bid hard on Schilens to fill the void.  I agree with his logic that Schilens is the most likely to fill that top wideout role for the Jets now that Holmes is out -- Jeremy Kerley is strictly a slot guy, and Stephen Hill is a raw rookie with terrible hands.  But Chaz Schilens? He was a training camp wünderkind in Oakland, but always entered the season hurt and was never able to gain much traction for the Raiders.  In Jets camp, Schilens got into a fracas with Antonio Cromartie after Cromartie publicly asserted that he was the second-best wide receiver on the team, behind Holmes.  Antonio Cromartie is a cornerback.  Schilens has 6 catches for 69 yards through four games this season... sad numbers and difficult to project into anything remotely useful for fantasy.  That said, Holmes' 10 targets per game have to go somewhere.  As the Dustin Keller owner, I'm hoping Mark Sanchez (or Tim Tebow) pumps those balls to the tight end.  But Schilens could be the beneficiary, and this could  end up looking like a genius claim for Kirk.  I'd handicap those chances at about 15%.  (Funny that I chose 15, as this was a $15 overbid.  Welcome to the lead for the Mr. Moneybags award, Kirk!)

HEY!  Just found this blurb from Jets minicamp from James Walker on the ESPN blog for the AFC East:

During my Tuesday trip to Florham Park, N.J., Schilens was the receiver who made the most plays in practice. The former Oakland Raider has good size, strong hands and athleticism. Schilens could be an underrated find if he’s able to stay healthy, which has always been an issue. 


Schilens made a play Tuesday that most Pro Bowl receivers couldn’t make. One-on-one against Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis, Schilens beat Revis to the corner of the end zone, leaped over the cornerback and snatched a high pass from quarterback Mark Sanchez for a touchdown. It was the most impressive catch of practice, especially considering who Schilens beat.

The Jets need playmakers on offense. Schilens will earn playing time if he makes more plays like that in training camp.

Jury's out, Kirk.  Schilens has talent, but he's frail.  If he stays healthy and emerges as the Jets' #1 receiver, you might have just caught lightning in a bottle.

Chaz Schilens Claim Grade: C

Domenik Hixon -- $14 to Nathan
dropped: Michael Johnson (tuesday drop) / other bids: $6 to Patrick, $4 to Derrick, $1 to Kendall
Man, I gushed about Ramses Barden last week, didn't I?  Maybe I was wrong.  In the game against the Iggles, now-healthy Hixon sure looked like the #3 receiver for the Giants and the guy who replaces Hakeem Nicks, didn't he?  I like Barden's age, size, and potential much more than I like Hixon's, but opportunity is opportunity, and Hixon is the guy with the opportunity.  To me, this is a nice WR4 that Nathan just added to his roster, and it's a player with WR2 upside if either Nicks or Victor Cruz should miss any significant time.  Shrewd move for Nathan, and I've said it before -- he looks really dialed-in this season, which bodes very poorly for the rest of us.  Beware the THUNDER BEAR.

Domenik Hixon Claim Grade: B+

Brandon Bolden -- $12 to Paul
dropped: David Wilson / other bids: $11 to Alan, $5 to Derrick, $2 to Nathan, $1 to Kendall
Everyone bitches about Mike Shanahan, but I honestly think Bill Belichick is worse.  Laurence Maroney, Sammy Morris, BenJarvus Green-Ellis, that little kid Danny Woodhead, Kevin Faulk, Shane Vereen, Stevan Ridley, and now this guy Brandon Bolden... Belichick just enjoys trying to mindfuck the fantasy community, I think.  Look, this is not too complicated, so let me break it down for you: Stevan Ridley is a stud, and Belichick knows it.  They were using the power run game to ground the Bills down into dust.  Too many carries had Ridley winded, and 'Chick didn't want to risk injury to his best tailback.  So he played the only thing approximating another power back he had in his arsenal -- Brandon Bolden.  16 carries for 137 yards and a touchdown later, and all of us reactionary fools rush out to pick him up.  But really, Bolden is just the power handcuff to Ridley.  Paul (the Ridley owner in our league) bid exactly what he needed to bid in order to land an unexciting player who just played the best game he'll play this season and probably ever.  In essence, Paul landed a handcuff for his RB2.  Not a bad move at all, as $12 is chump change in a season-long $100 budget.  But this is not a move that will win a Cup for the Barclay Street Bruisers.  (Unless, of course, Ridley goes down.)  Meanwhile, eat shit and die, David Wilson.  You. are. worthless.

Brandon Bolden Claim Grade: C+ B
(adjusted due to perfect bid amount and solid reasoning and need)

Matt Hasselbeck -- $6 to Nathan
dropped: Matt Cassel / other bids: $2 to Joe, $1 to Paul
Are you underwhelmed yet?  How long is Locker out?  Is Hass really an upgrade over Cassel?  How nervous is Nathan about the hits RG3 is taking when he scrambles?  These are questions that need answers. I'll take my best shot...  I am not underwhelmed, as during the CKL bye season, any QB taking snaps should be rostered.  It sounds like Locker is going to need surgery on that shoulder, which means he will be out for a long while, probably all season.  YES, Hasselbeck is an upgrade over Cassel.  Have you seen Matt Cassel play?  Nathan - I assume - is nervous to quite nervous about RG3.  I would be, too.  Bob Griffin is a slight 6-2, 217, and he's taking some very Vickian hits.  Hasselbeck has top-28 potential the rest of the way, which makes him a CKL backup worthy of a roster spot.

Matt Hasselbeck Claim Grade: C

Davone Bess -- $5 to Patrick
dropped: James Starks / other bids: $1 to Kendall, $1 to Nathan
Onto a roster, dumped back to waivers.  Again and again and again and again and again.  That's the life of Davone Bess when it comes to fantasy football.  You get intoxicated by the fact that he gets targets and is sure-handed and catches the ball.  Then you see he's not explosive and doesn't score touchdowns.  He's 5 points per week, and that's about it.  In other words, he's totally underwhelming.  Eventually, you need an extra roster spot for the hotshot rookie receiver who might be getting his chance, or for your #1-ranked kicker during his bye, or for the handcuff to your RB2 that you never knew you needed.  So you drop Bess, and he moves along to the next team.  Davone Bess is the fantasy football whore, but she's such a tease.  Nice handjobs, maybe the occasional blowjay, but she never goes all the way.  Everyone's gotten their peckers wet with Bess out behind the dumpster, but nobody wants to marry the bitch.  Patrick just saw her give up the anal and go brown to the tune of 7-123-0 last week, and Patrick's an ass freak.  But just wait -- she'll be kicked back to the curb soon enough, because this slut does not like to fuck.

Davone Bess Claim Grade: D

Dumpster Diving...

Jerrell Freeman, $3 to Chad -- Pat Angerer should be back this week.  Not sure Chad meant to spend three bucks on a Colts linebacker who is going to be splitting time at his position.

Marcedes Lewis, $2 to Ben -- Jesus Moose needed a tight end to start this week, with Pettigrew on bye.  I could probably name five other available tight ends I would have rather had*, but Lewis was productive once upon a time and has been seen in the end zone this season.  (*Ben Watson, Coby Fleener, Zach Miller, James Casey, Ed Dickson, Kellen Davis, Jordan Cameron.  There, that's seven.)

Osi Umenyiora, $1 to Russ -- Count 'em, that's 1-2-3-4 Giants on the Stick roster.  Homerism is awesome. I love it and celebrate it.  I love seeing guys play with their hearts and guts in this game for the mind!

Major Wright, $1 to Chad -- As bad as I thought the Jerrell Freeman pick-up was, I like this add for Chad. The Major is evolving into a major playmaker in the Bears secondary, one that is designed to generate big plays for the safeties.

Blaine Gabbert, $0 to Paul -- I get it, Locker goes down, gotta pick up the only QB available who is getting snaps.  This was a back-up bid to the $1 Paul put on Hasselbeck, and now I'm looking for Paulie to do a rebound bid on Cassel on Friday.  This QB scarcity is a bit scary, no?

Emmanuel Sanders, $0 to Kendall -- I remain bullish that Sanders is more talented than Antonio Brown.  The cream will rise to the top, eventually.  I just wanted to be on record saying that.

You know the drill, the rest were IDPs and kickers.  Nothing that I found particularly noteworthy.  I like the solid IDP claims for Roman Harper (Paul), Charles Johnson (me), David Harris (Nathan), and Elvis Dumervil (Ben), and Matt Prater (Ben), Robbie Gould (Rookie), and Nick Novak (Derrick) should be starting in a 14-team league.  Why the hell is Rob Bironas still on a CKL roster?  And the planets stay girded on their slow-spinning elliptical orbits...

Today's FAAB featured inaction from Mark and Norris.  Atypical for those guys, so no worries on this end. I guess they're happy with what they've got... for now.


Remaining Budgets:
Juris United -- $94
The Champeens -- $85
Barclay Street Bruisers -- $84
Jesus the Moose -- $83
Blackpool Penguins -- $78
Double-O Daddy -- $77
Kick Azz Giants -- $73
Glitterfist Lasersnakes -- $71
The Magic Stick -- $66
Achilles Heels -- $63
Nth Degree -- $61
THUNDER BEAR -- $57
Roo Tang Clan -- $55
Pink Nightmare -- $38

I'm still the leader in the clubhouse for The Blown Load award, and Alan still has designs on The Golden Sarcophagus.

Biggest Claims to Date:

#1 - Kevin Ogletree, $26 to Kendall on 9/12

#2 - Greg Olsen, $21 to Kendall on 9/26

#2 - Chaz Schilens, $21 to Kirk on 10/3

#4 - Andre Brown, $19 to Russ on 9/19

#5 - Daniel Thomas, $16 to Rookie on 9/26

#6 - Domenik Hixon, $14 to Nathan on 10/3

#7 - Jeremy Kerley, $13 to Derrick on 9/12

#7 - Daryl Richardson, $13 to Derrick on 9/19

#7 - Tashard Choice, $13 to Patrick on 9/26

#10 - Ramses Barden, $12 to Russ on 9/26

#10 - Brandon Bolden, $12 to Paul on 10/3

#12 - Dexter McCluster, $11 to Nathan on 9/12

#12 - Brian Hartline, $11 to Rookie on 9/19

#12 - Sidney Rice, $11 to Joe on 9/21 (Friday FAAB Rebound!)

That's it for this week.  But as always, remember...

GOTTA SPEND TO WIN!