Ben: I hope your zombie tale ends with all CKL families in a militaristic/hippie commune/complex together. 10:58 AM
Kirk: I've never been a happy ending type of guy 10:59 AM
Kirk: Besides I've already killed off Nathan 10:59 AM
Ben: Just read that and said "damn". 10:59 AM
Ben: Maybe he could resurrect as a zombie and we could take him to the commune to ward off other zombies or train our kids? 11:00 AM
Ben: You write your tale, man. Kill us all. 11:01 AM
Kirk: You are straight fuck Ben 11:03 AM
Kirk: Fucked 11:03 AM
Kirk: However you will enjoy you moment coming up 11:04 AM
Kirk: However you will enjoy your moment coming up 11:04 AM
Kirk: I thought about it last week, and was surprised a movie has not been developed with this premise. 11:05 AM
Kirk: I felt liked your death was the most justified. 11:53 AM
Ben: Wait, I lived. 12:44 PM
Kirk: Yes you did. Congrats you passes the test 12:50 PM
Ben: Were you gonna kill me? If so, how? 1:00 PM
Ben: Can you say "alternate endings"? 1:00 PM
Kirk: I always wanted you in a plane with a Zombie. I feel that is one of the unexplored corners of the zombie market. So I considered fiery frozen tundra death, 1:09 PM
Kirk: Maybe eaten by wolves 1:09 PM
Ben: The World War Z movie had a zombies on a plane scene. It is actually very close to what you wrote. 1:59 PM
Kirk: Fuck. Should have watch that shit. 2:00 PM
Ben: It even had the decompression due to a shot out window and zombie that turned in the bathroom. 2:14 PM
Ben: Brad Pitt and hot Israeli soldier didn't hold up in the cockpit though. 2:15 PM
Kirk: I wanted you to survive but not know what happened 2:24 PM
Kirk: I didn't want a lot of blood on your hands 2:24 PM
Kirk: I felt like you would see a situation developing and seize on an opportunity while others were still putting it together 2:26 PM
Ben: I do have delicate hands. 3:28 PM
Kirk: I've been in enough situations with you now that I consider you a good judge of when the scene is over. 3:36 PM
One Small Chronic Break Later
Kirk: I don't know why kids karate is so boring but this is killing me 5:25 PM
Kirk: My job is based on building and maintaining data sets and this is boring me to death 5:25 PM
Ben: Just fight, you little bastards! 5:43 PM
Kirk: You up for knocking out the predictions in an hour? 9:40 PM
Kirk: Start in an hour. To be clear. 9:41 PM
Ben: Worth a shot. I'll have to put Wyatt to bed in about 30 minutes. 9:41 PM
Kirk: Okay I'll text you then. 9:41 PM
Kirk: The woman who books my rooms is the worst / best there is. She never saves money and always gets me into a nice place. 10:33 PM
Kirk: I book a room I get the same bed and a free breakfast for a discount. She gets full price, no breakfast, and an indoor pool. 10:35 PM
Ben: I lost all confidence in anyone booking stuff for me. You never get what you prefer unless you do it yourself. 10:37 PM
Ben: Or, I never do. 10:37 PM
Ben: At least you get to do your swim laps. I know how important that is. 10:38 PM
Ben: You are like Michael Phelps. 10:38 PM
Ben: Of car sales. 10:38 PM
Kirk: Haha. Because on my way to Hickory NC, I thought, better bring my swim trunks. 10:39 PM
Ben: Hickory is know for their pools. No wait, that's furniture. 10:40 PM
Ben: Bring your woodworking tools. 10:41 PM
Ben: Vereen is killing me! If Doc beats me I might cry. 10:41 PM
Kirk: The truth is I do have swim trunks in my bag and I carry a toolbox with me in my trunk now. I'll like a 70 year old man. 10:41 PM
Ben: I bet you have some Rolaids too. 10:42 PM
Ben: What's your call for game of the week? 10:44 PM
Kirk: You should see some of the trade offers I made this week. Things are getting serious for the bad asses. 10:44 PM
Kirk: If people want to make a play for my team, the time is now. 10:45 PM
Kirk: There are a lot of last chance games going on this week. 10:46 PM
Kirk: I see this week as the great filter. 10:46 PM
Ben: Oh, analogy time! 10:46 PM
Ben: Nice. 10:47 PM
Kirk: I love the logo by the way. 10:47 PM
Kirk: Vereen is a beat monster right now. 10:47 PM
Ben: I wish I could filter all the carcinogens out if my shit season. 10:47 PM
Kirk: True enough. 10:48 PM
Ben: So who you picking in my game? 10:48 PM
Ben: Delicious Mousse or Predator? 10:49 PM
Kirk: You are a champ. I would say I have been in your shoes but no one has been in your shoes. 10:49 PM
Kirk: Let me set this up. 10:49 PM
Kick Azz Giants vs. Jesus the Moose
ESPN Gameline: Doc by 1.2
Kirk: You: Wilson, Charles (RB), Charles Clay (TE), Devil's 3way of Larry Fitz, Brian Quick, TY Hilton 10:50 PM
Kirk: Doc: Rivers, Vereen (RB) 23.8 points right now, Gronk, Devil's 3way: Odell Beckham, Steve Smith, DeSean 10:51 PM
Ben: He has a lot of players with blow up potential. 10:52 PM
Kirk: I want to go with you. It's crazy but I like your team. 10:52 PM
Ben: Lots of young talent, I think. 10:53 PM
Kirk: And the problem is Vereen is blowing the fuck up. He's cover hsi and Odell's spread. 10:54 PM
Kirk: He's covered his and Odell's spread. 10:54 PM
Kirk: I'm sticking with the Moose. Rookie needs to find the longest losing streak but 0-7 can't be a real thing. 10:55 PM
Ben: I am keeping the faith. 10:55 PM
Ben: Someone has had a 8-game losing streak, according to Nate. 10:56 PM
Ben: That was Brian Steele though... 10:56 PM
Kirk: Oh were we so young 10:57 PM
Kirk: Okay let's clear out my mess so we can get to real games. 10:57 PM
Ben: K 10:58 PM
The Sexy Badasses vs. Barclay Street Bruiser
ESPN Gameline: Paul by 5
Ben: Who are you trying to trade? 10:58 PM
Kirk: Kirk: Rodgers, Chris Ivory (RB), Bennett (TE), Devil's 3 Way: Keenan Allen, Cecil Shorts III, Brandon LaFell 10:59 PM
Kirk: Paul: Palmer, Lamar Miller (RB), Andre Ellington (RB), Alshon Jeffrey (WR), Andre Holmes (WR), Juilius Thomas (TE) 11:00 PM
Kirk: How can I lose to a team headed by Palmer 11:01 PM
Ben: Sorry, but is anyone outside the playoff picture rooting against Paul? 11:01 PM
Ben: Watch and see... 11:02 PM
Kirk: I completely agree. Paul is the bell of the ball 11:02 PM
Ben: I don't know though. Your team is heating up. 11:03 PM
Ben: Not as like able, but good nonetheless. 11:03 PM
Ben: I still go Paul, despite Ivory's good game. 11:04 PM
Kirk: My team is the guy running through the hurdles trying to keep up. 11:05 PM
Kirk: Yeah I would pick Paul too. Brandon LaFell please make at least as many points as dollars I paid. 11:06 PM
Kirk: Okay Kinky Kittens and the Nightmare 11:06 PM
Pink Nightmare vs. Feline Fondlers
ESPN Gameline: Kendall by 2.2
Kirk: Kendall is Newton (QB), Giovani Bernard (RB), Joique Bell (RB), Michael Floyd (WR), Brandin Cooks (WR), And Greg Olson (TE) 11:07 PM
Ben: Interesting he didn't play Brady. 11:08 PM
Kirk: Rookie: Manning (QB), Ben Tate (RB), LeVeon Bell (RB), Randall Cobb (WR), Kelvin Benjamin (WR), and Tim Wright (TE) 11:08 PM
Kirk: Kendall likes Cam Newton. 11:09 PM
Kirk: I'm a punk ass non believer. 11:10 PM
Ben: Damn Rookie for being right about LeVeon Bell. 11:10 PM
Ben: Kendall is also slowly amassing a team of the future. 11:10 PM
Kirk: This is the battle of analysts. 11:11 PM
Ben: I am not sure I agree with his faith in Joique. 11:11 PM
Ben: Terrible name father and mother Bell. 11:12 PM
Kirk: Yeah Bell is a great last name to pair up on. 11:12 PM
Kirk: Not that I can think of any right now. 11:13 PM
Ben: Tinker 11:13 PM
Ben: Savedbythe 11:14 PM
Ben: Division 11:14 PM
Kirk: I am going with Rookie. My heart wants Kendall but Rookie is what my gut says. 11:14 PM
Kirk: If so Kendall goes to 3-4, and only has one more loss left for the season. 11:14 PM
Ben: Me too. Peyton is due for a "holy shit" game 11:15 PM
Ben: He will take that as a challenge. 11:15 PM
Kirk: Probably. I need a Nathan breakdown after this week to give odds on making the playoffs. 11:17 PM
Kirk: Challenge thrown 11:17 PM
Kirk: Mark and Norris. 11:17 PM
The Champeens vs. Blackpool Penguins
ESPN Gameline: Norris by 8.9
Kirk: Mark: Stafford (QB), Eddie Lacy (RB), Matt Forte (RB), Julian Edleman (WR), Reggie Wayne (WR), and Dwayne Allen (TE) 11:18 PM
Kirk: Norris: Luck (QB), Blount (RB), DeMark Murray (RB), Julio Jones (WR), Mohamed Sanu (WR), and Vernon Davis (TE) 11:19 PM
Ben: Gotta take a break for a few. Back in a few... 11:19 PM
Kirk: Sure enough. 11:20 PM
Ben: You still up? 11:41 PM
Kirk: Yep Yep 11:42 PM
Ben: Cool. I'd have to land on the side of the Norris, the favorite to win it all so far. 11:43 PM
Ben: The Luck and Murray one-two punch is mighty. 11:44 PM
Kirk: I see a Rookie, Norris clobber fest at some point. 11:47 PM
Kirk: Week 10 by the way 11:48 PM
Ben: Those two do-gooding-nice-guys. Makes me sick that they deserve a good season. 11:48 PM
Kirk: Fuckers. 11:49 PM
Ben: You going NoBunn too? 11:50 PM
Kirk: Yeah. Mark needs to sell off his good players to me for magic beans. 11:51 PM
Kirk: I had you survive the Zombies...Isn't that worth something. 11:51 PM
Kirk: Okay I don't really care about this game. 11:52 PM
Kirk: Nathan vs. Patrick 11:52 PM
RAINBOW WOLF vs. Glitterfist Lasersnakes
ESPN Gameline: Patrick by 11
Ben: What are these guys' records? 11:52 PM
Kirk: Nathan 3-3 11:53 PM
Kirk: Patrick 2-4 11:53 PM
Kirk: Patrick is making trades and trying. 11:53 PM
Kirk: Nathan: Brian Hoyer (QB), Fred Jackson (RB), Reggie Bush (RB), Mike Wallace (WR), Brandon Marshall (WR), Jordan Cameron (TE) 11:54 PM
Kirk: Patrick: Matt Ryan (QB), Arian Foster (RB), Andre Williams (RB), Dez Bryant (WR), Andre Johnson (WR), Antonio Gates (TE) 11:54 PM
Ben: Patrick's team sounds better to me. 11:55 PM
Ben: But the WOLF has some nice pieces 11:55 PM
Kirk: Yeah it's a good game. I am just jaded. 11:56 PM
Ben: Hoyer has been better than expected. 11:56 PM
Kirk: Nathan beat me after predicting a playoff run and voodooed me. 11:56 PM
Ben: Damn Johnny Manziel hype machine 11:56 PM
Kirk: Sorry about that Ben. Johnny Finger Fucker 11:57 PM
Ben: Can't keep making it about me. Poor choices = poor season. 11:58 PM
Ben: I think Patty has a longshot playoff chance if Foster stays healthy. 11:59 PM
Kirk: I give a lot of this to the being fucked by circumstance. 11:59 PM
Kirk: Yeah the Red Queen again sits in judgement over his team. 11:59 PM
Kirk: I'm also going with the rebuilt Patrick. 12:00 AM
Kirk: Chad and Yado. 12:01 AM
Ben: Man, we are somehow full of negativity tonight. 12:01 AM
Ben: Somber even... 12:01 AM
Ben: Where is the fun, brother? 12:01 AM
Kirk: The zombie shit has exhausted my spirit. 12:02 AM
Kirk: All I see now is how I killed you all. 12:03 AM
Kirk: How I killed Chad makes me smile though 12:05 AM
Ben: That was a good write up. Well done. 12:05 AM
Ben: It was a good way to die. 12:05 AM
Kirk: Thanks Ben. It was very indulgent but I hoped that others would like it. 12:05 AM
Ben: I figured we would all die. 12:06 AM
Ben: Or all live 12:06 AM
Kirk: I based the live die based on your luck, closeness to a support structure, and natural abilities 12:07 AM
Ben: Still want the CKL hippy commune / fort / refuge from the apocalypse. 12:07 AM
Ben: If shit hits the fan everyone should make their way to Montana. 12:08 AM
Kirk: The sequel to that version is how we kill off each other. 12:08 AM
Ben: We have a lot of guns per capita. 12:08 AM
Ben: Lots of food and water. 12:08 AM
Kirk: Question...do you have guns in your house. 12:08 AM
Kirk: Disclosure I do not. 12:08 AM
Ben: No. Quakers 12:08 AM
Kirk: And I have never fired a gun 12:09 AM
Ben: I am close to buying a now though. 12:09 AM
Ben: Oh, I have fired plenty. 12:09 AM
Ben: People show up to social gatherings with assault rifles sometimes. 12:09 AM
Kirk: You're not a fucking idiot, buy twelve 12:09 AM
Ben: Ones there was a guy with a 9mm with a silencer. 12:10 AM
Ben: Why do you have that shit unless you plan on killing
some people? 12:10 AM
Kirk: We had to switch our lunch spot because the president of the company and the director of operations did not want to disarm. 12:11 AM
Ben: "Hey guys, let's go shoot this AR15 in the backyard." 12:11 AM
Kirk: We work in a locked down facility where I have to punch in key codes twice to take a piss or get a cup of coffee. 12:11 AM
Ben: It is fun to shoot guns though. It truly is. 12:11 AM
Ben: What? Really? 12:12 AM
Kirk: I'd shot guns. No one ever invites me. 12:12 AM
Ben: Is that because if theft? 12:12 AM
Kirk: The boss doesn't like keys because he loses them and he doesn't want the public to be able to just walk their ass in. 12:13 AM
Ben: I have myself a black eye last time I shot a rifle. I am terrible. 12:13 AM
Ben: Scope recoiled more than I expected. 12:13 AM
Kirk: We should drink heavily and you teach me to shoot a gun while Joe watches 12:13 AM
Kirk: That would be funny to me 12:13 AM
Ben: Huns and booze - a perfect combination. 12:14 AM
Ben: Guns 12:14 AM
Kirk: That's the start of a joke too. 2 Quakers were drinking and shooting guns and then.... 12:15 AM
Ben: You think Yado has shot at people before? 12:15 AM
Kirk: Did he do a tour? 12:15 AM
Kirk: He does have far away eyes. 12:16 AM
Ben: Been to Iraq, so I imagine he has... 12:16 AM
Ben: Dreamy far away eyes 12:16 AM
Ben: I feel better now. Let's get this done. 12:16 AM
Double-O Daddy vs. The Hezballers
ESPN Gameline: Chad by 10.8
Kirk: All the Special Ops guys I meet in Fayetteville had those "Charlie on the Horizon" looks. 12:17 AM
Kirk: I always felt safer when they were around. Like if shit broke out someone would be in charge. 12:17 AM
Kirk: And you were always 10 seconds away from shit breaking out in Fayetteville 12:18 AM
Kirk: Okay Chad...Tannehill (QB), Alfred Morris (RB), Antonio Brown (WR), E-Man Sands (WR), and the Mexican Handshake of.... 12:19 AM
Kirk: Delanie Walker (TE), Jordan Reed (TE) 12:20 AM
Ben: Love it. 12:20 AM
Kirk: The Champ is off the Res with this shit 12:21 AM
Kirk: He lost last week pulling this shit. Does he really have no other options. 12:21 AM
Ben: I think he has been shopping those TEs though. He wants to change. 12:22 AM
Kirk: He has 3 TEs. Hey everyone look for a TE...call Chad. 12:23 AM
Kirk: Owen Daniels by the way. 12:23 AM
Ben: The phrase "I wish I knew how to quit you" should be this years secondary theme. 12:23 AM
Ben: Secondary behind Remember the Alanmo. 12:23 AM
Kirk: Agreed. 12:23 AM
Ben: Fuck it, make it primary. 12:24 AM
Kirk: Okay Yado: Romo, Forsett (RB), Terrance Williams (RB), D-Thomas (WR), Percy Harvin (WR), Jared Cook (TE) 12:24 AM
Kirk: Yeah I thought this Alan thing was for a week. 12:24 AM
Kirk: Did we do anything for Joe-Joe? 12:25 AM
Kirk: Joe-Joe was a lot funnier in my mind. 12:25 AM
Ben: No. I took his team and don't remember anything special. 12:26 AM
Kirk: A year of remembrance from Alan, and a nut kick for Joe-Joe. 12:26 AM
Ben: I love Joe Joe. 12:27 AM
Ben: He is so Chef from Southpark. 12:27 AM
Ben: Tenure though. 12:27 AM
Ben: Alan was in this bitch a long time. 12:28 AM
Kirk: Let's change our game to the Joe-Joe Game of Remembrance. 12:28 AM
Kirk: At least as a nod this year. 12:28 AM
Kirk: I'm going with Yado by the by. This double TE shit can't stand. 12:30 AM
Kirk: Okay Joe and Russ. 12:30 AM
Voodoo Brown vs. The Magic Stick
ESPN Gameline: Russ by 16.3
Ben: Done on the JJGoR 12:30 AM
Kirk: Joe: Jay Cutler (QB), Stom Johnson (RB), Jason "True Cowboy" Witten (TE), and Devil's 3way James Jones, Sammy Watkins, Torrey Smith 12:31 AM
Kirk: Russ: Flacco, Marshawn Lynch (RB), Jace Amaro (TE) and Devil's 3 Way: Golden Tate, Doug Baldwin, and Jordy Nelson 12:32 AM
Ben: I feel bad for Russ having traded him an injured Megatron. 12:33 AM
Ben: And he is not playing Breed...? 12:33 AM
Kirk: Don't. He got Golden Tate from me. 12:33 AM
Ben: Curious, but Flacco was awesome last week. 12:34 AM
Kirk: Against Tampa Bay. 12:34 AM
Ben: Golden Tate can't hold Calvin's jock. 12:34 AM
Kirk: Russ is an embarrassment riches at the moment 12:34 AM
Kirk: True but his is filling in. 12:35 AM
Ben: Right. 12:35 AM
Kirk: True but he is filling in. 12:35 AM
Ben: Russ should win. 12:35 AM
Ben: Lynch will run angry. 12:35 AM
Kirk: Yeah Russ takes this one. 12:35 AM
Kirk: Brees will blow up on the bench to confuse Russ for his choice next week. 12:36 AM
Kirk: Okay...another week in the bag. Thanks again. 12:37 AM
Ben: That snuck up on me. Thought we had one more. 12:38 AM
Ben: Good stuff. Sleep well. 12:38 AM
Kirk: You too lover. 12:38 AM
This column always go weird and interesting places and I love it.
ReplyDeleteThe break was that obvious, huh?
ReplyDelete