Ben: Did somebody say blockbuster? 6:57 PM
Kirk: What did you do? 7:02 PM
Ben: Russ helped me get young. I helped him get strong. 7:14 PM
Ben: Brees, Lynch, Megatron, Run DMC, and Stills for... Russell Wilson (needs nickname), Jammy C plus handcuff Knile, TY, Cordarelle, and Fitz. 7:18 PM
Kirk: That's a big damn play 7:39 PM
Kirk: I like it 7:39 PM
Ben: Time will tell. If one of the young WRs pans out, I'll feel much better. 7:50 PM
Ben: Hard to part with those guys, but great young potential. 7:50 PM
Ben: Year one though, Russ wins the trade... 7:51 PM
Kirk: You had to do something. This was pragmatic 7:52 PM
Kirk: I have a great idea for today 11:11 AM
Kirk: I am going to work a trade deal with teams in our texts 11:12 AM
Ben: Love it! Ready set go. 12:35 PM
Kirk: After lunch. I going for Indian 12:37 PM
Kirk: Just finished working out 12:38 PM
Kirk: Just putting it out there so people know how I spend my day. 12:38 PM
Kirk: Oh it hurts. Such a deep burn 12:38 PM
Kirk: Might have to take a nap later 12:39 PM
Ben: Jazzersize will do that. 12:39 PM
Kirk: I do it because I love to feel my body in movement to the sounds of Charlie Parker 12:40 PM
Kirk: And the girls have put some much work into their routines, I feel like I would be letting them down 12:41 PM
Kirk: Those Christiansburg Cunts don't stand a chance at districts 12:43 PM
Kirk: Okay biggest news of the past 24 hours...of course I am talking about the THUNDER BEAR becoming the RAINBOW WOLF...thoughts? 3:32 PM
Ben: Perhaps in response to our "Joe's tattoo vs Nathan's team name" comments? 3:37 PM
Kirk: I would like to think we have power over others. I mean you do have power over thousands of people, but you know real people that we know. 3:42 PM
Kirk: Let's start with the RAINBOW WOLF 3:43 PM
The Sexy Badasses vs. The RAINBOW WOLF
ESPN Gameline: Kirk by 28.1
Ben: Against? 3:43 PM
Kirk: Immediately I am off the rails with my plan, because there isn't really anything these I want. 3:43 PM
Kirk: Nathan and I play this week. 3:43 PM
Ben: Oh, you mean your trade plans... 3:44 PM
Ben: Nate does want to trade though. 3:44 PM
Kirk: Nathan is Cleveland's latest QB, Fred Jackson (RB), Jordan Cameron (TE), and the Devil's Threeway of Brandon Marshall, Mike Wallace, and V-Jax. 3:45 PM
Kirk: I just don't want anything there. 3:46 PM
Kirk: I am rolling...fuck I need to change that logo. 3:46 PM
Ben: True, but Purple Jesus is about to get crucified. You could definitely get some value there. 3:48 PM
Kirk: Nathan is not going to trade for AP. AP is beating kids and smoking weed. 3:54 PM
Kirk: A "little weed" admittedly, and a little kid but still 3:55 PM
Ben: If he'd have been smoking more weed he may have been more laid back with that punishment. 3:55 PM
Ben: Moral - smoking weed helps you avoid problems. 3:56 PM
Kirk: I am rolling Aaron Rodgers, Matt Asia ta (RB), Chris Ivory (RB), Keenan Allen (WR), Golden Tate (WR), and Martellus Bennett (TE) 3:56 PM
Ben: Golden Tate has been a nice surprise for you. 3:57 PM
Ben: You have lots of surprises 3:57 PM
Kirk: Yes he has. Megatron needs to stay the fuck down. 3:57 PM
Ben: It's that kind of Mega-negativity that caused me to trade him. Miss you Calvin. 3:59 PM
Kirk: Current Surprises for my team: #1 AP is a clusterfuck, #2 Martellus Bennett is legit, #3 A-Rod is human (I blame Olivia Munn.) 3:59 PM
Kirk: #4 Golden Tate is something, #5 Toby Gerhart is nothing (Not really a surprise more of a mild dissappointment) 4:00 PM
Kirk: #6 Khiry Robinson 4:00 PM
Kirk: # Lucky 7 DeAndre Levy 4:01 PM
Kirk: #8 Harrison Smith...you better play this week with a fucking cast motherfucker. 4:01 PM
Kirk: Anyway....can I beat Nathan this week? 4:02 PM
Ben: Yes. I think you keep rolling. 4:02 PM
Kirk: Prediction for my team 8-5 this season. 4:03 PM
Ben: Making the playoffs? 4:03 PM
Kirk: Lose in the 2nd round of the playoffs. 4:03 PM
Ben: Bold. Especially in a year when you are down a keeper. 4:04 PM
Kirk: Really 2 keepers. 4:04 PM
Ben: Who was the other? 4:04 PM
Kirk: Gerhart 4:05 PM
Ben: Shit! How are you projecting to make playoffs and I am 0-5, trading giant studs? 4:06 PM
Kirk: Beat Nathan this week to 5-1, Lose to Paul 5-2, Lose to Joe (hate that one) 5-3, Beat Doc 6-3, Loss to Chad 6-4, Beat Patrick 7-4... 4:06 PM
Kirk: Lose to Rookie (7-5), Beat you (8-5) 4:07 PM
Kirk: That is not completely unthinkable. 4:07 PM
Kirk: Tell me which game I am wrong about. 4:08 PM
Ben: Me. I'd love to play spoiler. 4:09 PM
Ben: Seriously, I think that is a pretty decent prediction, if all holds. 4:09 PM
Kirk: If my luck and your luck come to a head at the end of the season, that would be pure magic. 4:10 PM
Kirk: Double fucking Rainbow magic, 4:10 PM
Ben: Alright who's next? 4:11 PM
Kirk: Yado and Russ 4:11 PM
The Hezballers vs. The Magic Stick
ESPN Gameline: Russ by 2.4
Kirk: New Russ is Flacco (QB), LeSean McCoy (RB), MarShawn Lynch (RB), Jordy Nelson (WR), Andre Roberts (WR), and Jace Amaro (or the Jet TE) 4:12 PM
Ben: Wondered if he'd get Mega this week? 4:13 PM
Kirk: Expansion Yado is Romo, CJ Spiller (RB), Zach Ertz (TE), and Devil's 3way, D "Thunder Bolt" Thomas, Terrance Williams, Percy Harvin 4:13 PM
Ben: Yado has done well so far 4:14 PM
Kirk: Far better than Alan in my opinion. 4:15 PM
Ben: Still, Russ has the better team. 4:15 PM
Ben: I am crying for Marshawn too. 4:15 PM
Kirk: He does. I think Thomas will go off for Yado, but Yado is still feathered to a corpus in Percy Harvin 4:16 PM
Kirk: Why isn't Yado playing Forsett? 4:18 PM
Kirk: I am going to ask for a trade right now. 4:18 PM
Ben: Maybe he has a feeling? 4:19 PM
Ben: Or maybe he is too caught up in wedding plans? 4:19 PM
Ben: Or perhaps as a secret, he has inside information. 4:20 PM
Ben: Secret agent 4:20 PM
Ben: That would explain his success. We have never had government insiders in the league. 4:20 PM
Kirk: Okay Harry Douglas for Forsett 4:22 PM
Kirk: Let see if he has any intentions 4:23 PM
Ben: Are you proposing real trades or insult trades? 4:23 PM
Kirk: Haha 4:23 PM
Kirk: It's a real trade 4:24 PM
Ben: Maybe I haven't been paying attention to Douglas. 4:24 PM
Kirk: I have never traded with Yado. I want to see how he works. 4:24 PM
Ben: I hear he is magic in the sack. 4:25 PM
Kirk: Douglas is good and heading back in after an injury. 4:25 PM
Ben: And completely shaven. Not a hair on his body. 4:25 PM
Kirk: I am going to offer Golden Tate for Lynch 4:25 PM
Ben: More insults, huh? 4:26 PM
Kirk: I am doing that out of pure hate for Russ 4:27 PM
Ben: Be careful. Lynch is so awesome he may personally come and shove a handful of Skittles up your dick hole. 4:29 PM
Kirk: You are on fire sir. 4:29 PM
Kirk: Okay I am off to mow the lawn. Text you later lover. 4:29 PM
Kirk: So yeah I am going with Russ on this. 7:34 PM
Kirk: Russ turned down my trade. He gave it a 2 star with no counter offer. 7:35 PM
Ben: Funny. 7:37 PM
Kirk: Yado turned down too. ": No, thank you. I have a dearth of RBs and a plethora of WRs." 8:42 PM
Kirk: So Yado is looking for a RB 8:43 PM
Ben: So am I 8:43 PM
Ben: Yado is a wordsmith, I guess...? 8:43 PM
Ben: Plethora always reminds me of "The Three Amigos" 8:44 PM
Kirk: He's a lawyer so I would assume he can read. 8:44 PM
Ben: He is also a Marine, so I assume he can't. 8:44 PM
Ben: Damn! Think before hitting send. 8:45 PM
Ben: Don't fuck with the Marines, jackass! 8:45 PM
Kirk: Nailing it. 8:48 PM
Kirk: Moving on to Kendall and Mark 8:48 PM
Pink Nightmare vs. The Champeens
ESPN Gameline: Mark by 22.7
Kirk: Kendall is Matt Ryan (QB), Giovani Bernard (RB), Andre Williams (RB), Michael Floyd (WR), and Michael Crabtree (WR)...an Tim Wright (TE) 8:50 PM
Kirk: Mark is Stafford (QB), Eddie Lacy (RB), Matt Forte (RB), Victor Cruz (WR), Reggie Wayne (WR), Dwayne Allen (TE) 8:53 PM
Kirk: I put a hedge trade offer into Kendall for the 3rd string RB for the Vikings. 8:56 PM
Ben: That would be a good pickup, especially for you. 8:57 PM
Kirk: Mark needs a RB, but he is stacked with WRs. 8:59 PM
Ben: I think Edie Lacy will be awesome going forward and Mark know it. 8:59 PM
Ben: Took the temperature on a trade. It was ice cold. 9:00 PM
Ben: I like Mark's team even with the shallow RB pool. 9:00 PM
Kirk: I'd love to make him an offer, but I don't think I have what he needs. 9:03 PM
Kirk: I think Mark has a real chance here and I am going with him this week. 9:05 PM
Ben: I also constantly think Edie when I see Eddie. 9:05 PM
Ben: Shove me into shallow water before I get to deep..and so forth. 9:05 PM
Kirk: Fucking Paul Simon and what not 9:05 PM
Ben: Me too. Always hard to pick against Howell, but here we are. 9:06 PM
Kirk: That's a good game, but Paul vs. Chad is a great game. 9:07 PM
Double-O Daddy vs. Barclay Street Bruisers
ESPN Gameline: Paul by 10.8
Ben: Did you ever read Steven Van Zandt's thoughts on Paul Simon? 9:07 PM
Kirk: No 9:07 PM
Ben: If you like Paul Simon, don't look it up. 9:07 PM
Kirk: So I am safe. 9:08 PM
DISGRACELAND: STEVEN VAN ZANDT RIPS ON PAUL SIMON
Ben: E-Street Band > Simon and Garfunkel 9:08 PM
Ben: Springsteen > Paul Simon 9:09 PM
Kirk: Completely agree and I hate Bruce Springsteen 9:09 PM
Kirk: Expect Born to Run. 9:09 PM
Ben: Marines > Army, Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard 9:10 PM
Ben: Now my ass is safe 9:10 PM
Kirk: No those knuckles heads never take you off the list.
Kirk: Some beefed up 24 year old is going to kill you 9:12 PM
Kirk: Quick with knife 9:13 PM
Ben: Can it at least me a hot female jarhead? 9:13 PM
Kirk: Much against the porn evidence, there are no hot jarhead women. 9:14 PM
Ben: Ah, now you are screwed. 9:14 PM
Kirk: No Yado knows that shit. 9:15 PM
Kirk: It's not smack talk when its real. 9:15 PM
Kirk: Air Force women are the hottest...
Kirk: and the Navy chicks give it up the easiest. 9:16 PM
Ben: True. He like eastern Euro ladies. 9:16 PM
Ben: And journalist types 9:16 PM
Kirk: Who doesn't. Sexy smart, or loose and French. 9:22 PM
Kirk: Chad is Nick Foles (QB), Alfred Morris (RB), Antonio Brown (WR), Eman Sands (WR), and 2 TEs Delanie Walker and Jordan Reed 9:26 PM
Kirk: What do we call that 9:26 PM
Kirk: 2 in the Pink, 2 in Stink? 9:26 PM
Ben: 2 in the pink. Only 1 goes in the stink. 9:27 PM
Ben: According to the Shocker, that is. 9:27 PM
Kirk: Not if you plan on fucker her in the ass. You got to stretch it out 9:28 PM
Ben: Wow, nice job pushing the boundaries. Gotta keep up that warning in A/D/T/K/D. 9:29 PM
Ben: What's Paul bringing to the fight? 9:31 PM
Kirk: I see this as an informative message. Kids, a man's penis is generally large than his finger. If you plan on inserting a penis into an anus, please use lube 9:32 PM
Kirk: and stretch that shit out first. 9:32 PM
Ben: Wonder how that plays out in the homosexual world? 9:33 PM
Ben: Never mind, just glad I don't have to deal with that. 9:33 PM
Kirk: Yeah having shit as a main stay of each penetration has to be annoying. 9:34 PM
Kirk: "oh look. More shit on my dick." 9:35 PM
Ben: Reason #1 for my preference for sticking to the pink. 9:35 PM
Kirk: #2. Breats 9:36 PM
Ben: You lost me...? 9:36 PM
Kirk: So Chad and Paul 9:37 PM
Ben: Wait what is Breats? 9:37 PM
Kirk: Breasts....miss typed. I will correct it in editing 9:39 PM
Kirk: Oh Mexican Handshake. That would work 9:40 PM
Ben: No way! That is what the audience expects from you. 9:40 PM
Kirk: A strange form of masturbation involving squatting on the ground with flat feet with your knees held tighly to your chest. 9:41 PM
Kirk: You arm must then go around one of your legs to reach the required organ 9:41 PM
Kirk: That is what we should call 2 TEs 9:43 PM
Kirk: Wait...I aorgym missing the obvious. 2 TEs is a gay sex orgy 9:43 PM
Ben: All that talk to come up with a better name. 9:43 PM
Kirk: Zipper Party...I'll work on it 9:53 PM
Kirk: Paul is Eli Manning (QB), Andre Ellington (RB), Branden Oliver (RB), Julius Thomas (TE), Alshon Jeffrey (WR), and Jeremy Maclin (WR) 9:56 PM
Kirk: Paul really got a nice surprise with Branden Oliver. That solidifies his team. 9:58 PM
Ben: Agreed. And tough game to call. 10:00 PM
Ben: Still, I like the Bruisers here. Two TEs is too much risk for my blood. 10:01 PM
Kirk: I'm going with Paul. If Eli maintains, he could have a solid team. Paul please give up a QB. 3 is embrassing. You look like Alan out there.10:01 PM
Kirk: Doc and Patrick. 10:03 PM
Kick Azz Giants vs. Glitterfist Lasersnakes
ESPN Gameline: Patrick by 21.8
Kirk: Doc is Rivers (QB), Shane Vereen (RB), Gronk (TE), and Devil's Threeway Odell Beckham Jr, Steve Smith, and DeSean Jackson 10:04 PM
Kirk: Patrick is again flirting with the red Queen 10:04 PM
Kirk: He brings Brady, Foster (RB), Joique Bell (RB), Dez Bryant (WR), Andre Johnson (WR), and Greg Olson (TE) 10:06 PM
Kirk: Patrick is the better team here. Doc is a double digit rank team this season 10:07 PM
Ben: Yep. Tough year for Doc. He has a chance though with Gronk coming back to form, Steve Smith (super free agent), and DeSean doing well. 10:08 PM
Ben: Also, I like ODB as an up-and-comer. 10:09 PM
Ben: You know, I pick the upset here with Doc. 10:09 PM
Kirk: So you are with Doc? 10:09 PM
Ben: Yes 10:10 PM
Ben: Even though the Snakes beat the shit out of me. 10:10 PM
Kirk: So you get Rookie this week. 10:11 PM
Jesus the Moose vs. Sex Panther
ESPN Gameline: Rookie by 31.7
Kirk: TY Hilton already lighting it up for you. 10:11 PM
Kirk: The NEw Moose is Rusty Wilson (QB), Shonn Greene (ReallyB), Sammy Watkins (WR), Brian Quick (WR), Jason (The True Cowboy) Witten (TE) 10:13 PM
Kirk: Titty Tabbies bring Manning (QB), LeVeon Bell (RB), Old Man Gore (RB), DeAndre Hopkins (WR), Randall Cobb (WR), and Antonio Gates (TE) 10:14 PM
Kirk: You are offically fuck by luck 10:15 PM
Kirk: Manning is playing the Jets 10:15 PM
Ben: Yeah, I need a backup RB to Charles. Trying lots if trades. 10:15 PM
Kirk: Bell is running over the Browns 10:15 PM
Kirk: Get Shonn Greene off your team 10:16 PM
Shonn Greene Sucks Forum
Ben: You know nobody want that POS. 10:17 PM
Kirk: I hate to say it but Rookie wins here. Make a trade 10:17 PM
Ben: I just did. 10:17 PM
Ben: My goose is cooked, so my trades are all about the future. 10:17 PM
Ben: Hedging bets on tons of young talent. 10:18 PM
Ben: See who pans out and keep the best options. 10:18 PM
Ben: The new Moose is motivated. I need to keep the faith. Picking myself. 10:19 PM
Kirk: By the way...how did the mega trade start out. I know you didn't offer it all on the first pass 10:19 PM
Ben: Started with Brees and Lynch (or Megatron) for Russell Wilson and Jamaal Charles. 10:22 PM
Ben: Russ was the the ballsy instigator, pushing for the full badass trade. 10:22 PM
Ben: We bounced back a few counters, but Russ was hard set on doing something legendary over something big. 10:23 PM
Ben: Meanwhile, there were ongoing talks with 4 others. None could match Russ's insanely awesome trade. 10:24 PM.
Kirk: You both had some balls with that trade. Well done 10:26 PM
Kirk: Okay game of the week is Joe vs. Norris 10:28 PM
Voodoo Brown vs. Blackpool Penguins
ESPN Gameline: Norris by 4.5
Ben: Like I said before, Magic Stick wins the trade now, but if these guys pan out... 10:28 PM
Kirk: Joe is Cutler (QB), Dougy Fresh (RB), Zac Stacy (RB), James Jones (WR), the Frenchie (WR), and Charles Clay (TE) 10:30 PM
Kirk: Joe made a good pick up for Storm Johnson by the by 10:31 PM
Ben: Yeah. Doug and Zac have both underachieved so far. 10:34 PM
Ben: Needs a spark 10:34 PM
Kirk: Jacksonville is where sparks go to die 10:35 PM
Ben: Nice one 10:36 PM
Ben: Same with Tennessee, in my opinion. 10:36 PM
Kirk: Dream Lover is pulling...Andrew Luck, DeMarkO Murray (RB), Stevan Ridley (RB), Julio Jones (WR), AJ Green (WR), and Larry Donnel (TE) 10:37 PM
Ben: Wow. I am jealous of what NoBunn has going this year. 10:39 PM
Ben: Joe needs a miracle. 10:39 PM
Kirk: I am pulling for Joe in this game though. If only for a minute I want him ranked #1 10:40 PM
Ben: Blackpool should rip Voodoo's head off. 10:40 PM
Ben: Why? 10:40 PM
Ben: Oh, you want to play him at #1 10:40 PM
Kirk: No. I'll beat Joe at #14 and laugh just as hard. 10:41 PM
Ben: So why do you want Joe at #1? 10:42 PM
Kirk: I want Joe to taste that sweet #1 ranking. Hope in Joe's heart is good for the league. 10:42 PM
Kirk: It's like Kendall losing 10:43 PM
Kirk: When those events are happening it gives all of us the feeling that anyone can win this thing 10:43 PM
Ben: Got it. Feeling his luck has turned around. 10:43 PM
Kirk: Well except you...your season is clearly over. 10:44 PM
Ben: Damn, I just realized that this year is bizarro year. 10:44 PM
Ben: My luck has been terrible and Joe's very good. 10:44 PM
Kirk: Yeah it is bizarro year 10:44 PM
Ben: I am Elaine and he is George. 10:44 PM
Kirk: Dogs and cats are laying down together 10:45 PM
Kirk: AP is smoking weed and beating children 10:45 PM
Kirk: I am 3rd in the league. 10:46 PM
Kirk: And fucking beat Norris. 10:46 PM
Kirk: Shit aint right 10:46 PM
Kirk: Paul has a strong chance at the cup 10:47 PM
Ben: Kendall on the verge of a losing season. 10:47 PM
Kirk: Doc is asleep at the wheel 10:47 PM
Ben: A founder dropped out 10:47 PM
Kirk: Its the curse Alan! 10:47 PM
Kirk: Its the curse of Alan! 10:48 PM
Ben: All true. All true. 10:48 PM
Kirk: And on that bombshell, have a good week Ben. Good Luck Moose! 10:49 PM
Ben: Well, I feel like we can only go down from there. Just solved everything. 10:49 PM
Ben: Have fun. 10:49 PM
So good. Actual guffaws emitted. Must read blog post, easily.
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