October 9, 2014

Tricks of the Trade

Y'all are all about squeezing the last drops of talent out of my team in exchange for your goddamn bench warmers, so let's see exactly where your brilliant bench warming has gotten you so far.

For the nerds, I'm tracking the fps of each player involved in a trade week to week. I'm then comparing what you traded away for what you got. To simplify the difference in fps between various positions, I've identified an average baseline value. The "Trade Value Points" I've awarded each deal is essentially an indication of how many fantasy points the winner of the trade has gained for himself. Think of them as how many average weekly fantasy points the winner snagged from the loser.

Trade 1 - 8/17

Barclay Street Bruisers receive Peyton Manning
Sex Panther receive Andre Ellington

I was actually pretty surprised that this deal ended up as even as it did. Sure, Peyton is the number 5 QB right now, but I don't think anyone expected to see him in a flat pack of "pretty good" lined up behind his Colts replacement. Ellington, on the other hand, had a great game against Denver, but has been functioning just below average. Rookie wins this one out by a narrow margin.

Sex Panther gains 1.46 TVP over BSB.

Trade 2 - 8/17

Blackpool Penguins receives AJ Green
Pink Nightmare receives Giovanni Bernard

Trades with the Nightmare are like knocks at the door during dinner. You feel obligated to answer quickly, but chances are it's somebody selling shitty magazines, or your dog is dead. Either way, Pink got the better end of this one and the better play in Bernard.

Pink Nightmare has 3.68 TVP to mock Norris with.

Trade 3 - 9/16

Pink Nightmare receives Cam Newton, Andrew Williams, Rashad Jennings, and Michael Crabtree
The Magic Stick receives Cordarelle Patterson, Jamaal Charles, Knile Davis, and TY Hilton

These are the stuff of confusion for your humble author. Honestly, there's a modest gain for the Stick here, with standout Knile Davis putting up better than expected fps. But you gotta ask, what's the point? Imagine pulling a mixed hand in a game of Scrabble, you go to ditch your tiles, but instead of tossing them in the pot, you look across the table at your forlorn competitor, who, with a twinkle in his eye, suggests you instead pour your crap tiles in with your good, mush them around, and then each pluck out a new hand.

The Magic Stick has 1.38 TVP better grammar than Pank.

Trade 4 - 9/20

Jesus The Moose receives Kenny Stills and Terrance West
Voodoo Brown receives Pierre Garcon

Now we're getting somewhere. When you hear "lots of upside" in a trade offer, you have to understand that the offerer has already given up on an underperforming player. Jinxie unloaded two stinkers and got himself a totally basic bitch of an WR.

Voodoo Brown gained 9.10 TVP by trading double badness for okayness.

Trade 5 - 9/24

Barclay Street Bruisers receives Lamar Miller and Roddy White
THUNDERBEAR receives Mike Wallace and Montee Ball

So far, things are looking ugly for Nate with this trade. Ball and Wallace are not performing, while Lamar Miller blew up. Rowdy Roddy White still seems to have some pep in his step. This will be interesting to track through the future, but as of this article...

Barclay Street Bruisers proudly grabbed 17.75 TVP out of the paws of THUNDERBEAR.

Trade 6 - 9/25

The Sexy Badasses receives Terrance West
Jesus the Moose receives Wes Welker

Any surprise that these two continue to put up marginal numbers? Not much exiting about this trade, although Welker's white boy romance with Manning continues to give him the edge on Terrance West.

Jesus the Moose squeaks 2.85 TVP out of the Sexy Badassery

Trade 7 - 9/28

Voodoo Brown receive Torrey Smith
The Magic Stick receive Larry Fitzgerald

Another humdinger. And another trade I don't totally understand. "I've got a pretty good WR, so let's see if I can improve my position by trading for one of your crap WRs. If we both gain nothing, we both don't lose, so let's call that winning. [Confirm offer]" Why don't I see trades like these?

Voodoo Brown gains 4.70 TVP, The Magic Stick gains our looks of confusion?

Trade 8 - 9/28

Pink Nightmare receive Brandon Cooks, Jeremy Hill, and Justin Hunter
Barclay Street Bruisers receive Jeremy Maclin and Allen Hurns

This one makes a bit more sense. Pink needs an RB desperately, and Paul has been waiting in the shadows, ready to take advantage of any sign of weakness, snagging an upgrade at WR in the exchange.

Barclay Street Bruisers swipes 6.15 TVP from the Nightmare.

Trade Standings

TeamTVP Overall
BSB22.44
Jinx13.8
Rook1.46
HB0
KAG0
Eens0
ODD0
GFLS0
Sexy-2.85
TMS-3.325
Bunn-3.68
PINK-3.845
Ben-9.1
woof-17.75
If you're trading with Paul or Joe, count your fingers before, during, and after. Ben is the man to see if you want a marginal upgrade at Flex. Please send ridiculous offers to Nathan, who has officially announced his status as sheep in gay pride wolf clothing. Otherwise, chances are you'll win out, by a bit, even if you're answering the door at dinner. 

Now, before the hate mail floods in, I have to repeat that I'm only looking at the actual FPS everyone gained or lost in a trade. So don't go on about somebody's "potential", "moxie", "sexual magnetism", or "bye week". You win and lose games on FPS, so that's what I'm looking at.

Really looking forward to seeing how the great Shit Swap of 2014 plays out. See you in a week or two.

No comments:

Post a Comment