Predictions from the Corner Office: Week 8 - 3 Ways, Thoughts from the Mayor, JV Girls, Spanking Rooms, Mike Williams and Evans, & Racism

Kirk: This always an awkward conversation so I'm just going to come out with it 9:47 PM

Kirk: I think we should try a threeway 9:47 PM

Kirk: It's not that what we have is not exciting 9:48 PM

Kirk: I am completely for filled by it 9:48 PM

Kirk: But I think it might be exciting to mix it up a bit 9:48 PM

Kirk: YOLO to use parlance of our time 9:49 PM

Ben: Depends on if the third in our minage is dead sexy or not. 9:59 PM

Kirk: I think it's only right, since it's my idea, you get to choose 10:00 PM

Kirk: This has to be our idea 10:01 PM

Ben: Could be hard to get three people active on text at the same time. 10:04 PM

Kirk: That's true 10:04 PM

Kirk: gchat would be the way. 10:05 PM

Kirk: I have the app on my phone. It would something new and someone new 10:05 PM

Ben: Also true. BTW, I fly to Denver on Wednesday, so watch out for zombies. 10:07 PM

Ben: Process of elimination for our third person. 10:08 PM

Kirk: Okay. My first choice is Paul 10:09 PM

Ben: Whose number/gchat do we have? Kendall, Joe, Nate, Rookie, Russ, Paul. 10:09 PM

Kirk: But he has a funny work schedule 10:09 PM

Kirk: I like the Mayor 10:10 PM

Ben: #2 Who doesn't appear regularly on a column? 10:10 PM

Kirk: No one hears from Joe 10:10 PM

Ben: With those two, I land on Rookie, Joe, Paul. 10:11 PM

Kirk: Rookie would be good too 10:11 PM

Kirk: Okay I will make the overture 10:11 PM

Ben: Joe is good for board, text and gchat responses 10:12 PM

Ben: And he is dead sexy. 10:12 PM

Kirk: Oh yes he is. He is Mr Fantastic 10:12 PM

Kirk: Okay I will see if Joe is into it. 10:13 PM

Ben: It will also give me a chance to give him a hard time about swindli 10:13 PM

Ben: ng Garçon and Watkins off of me. 10:13 PM

Kirk: This is the spice that will bring our shit to the next level. 10:14 PM

Ben: Just don't forget about my needs 10:15 PM

Kirk: I never will. You are always in charge. It ends when you say so. 10:16 PM

Ben: Make sure Joe knows our safe words. 10:16 PM

Kirk: "Rookie takes it hard." I'll make sure he knows 10:18 PM

Kirk Gentlemen. We can start this thing. Everyone should be in

Mayor Sellers: Oops, sorry for holding things up.

Kirk Im trying to get Ben on the line This is the hidden side of our relationship

Kirk Thanks for jumping on this.

Ben: Hola amigos!

Kirk There he is Okay gentlemen.  Let's start this thing

Ben: Yo Joe! Thanks for helping out. Just so you know, I have a beast of a meeting stating in about 45 minutes. It goes for 3 hours after that.

Kirk Okay let's try to get to it then

Ben: Might be able to keep chatting under the radar...

Kirk:  Let's start with Nathan and Doc

CHUNDER BEAR (3-4) vs. Kick Azz Giants (3-4)

ESPN Gameline: Doc by 11

Kirk:  Nathan has dropped 3 QBs and is left with Blake Bortles this week Reggie Bush (RB), Jordan Cameron (TE), and the Devil's 3way Brandon Marshall (WR), Mike Wallace (WR), and V-Jax

Ben: Any Jags player is hard to stomach this year.

Kirk:  Doc is Rivers, Shane Vereen (Very Sexy), Gronk, and his own 3way of Steve Smith (WR), DeSean Jackson (WR), and Steve Smith (WR).

Kirk: I think Doc has a goodish team all of a sudden

Ben Bledsoe Goodish against Nate = winner

Kirk:  Yeah I want to offer trades to Nathan but I'm not sure there is anything there Do I want Reggie Bush? Kinda but how much

Ben: I could get behind Wallace or Marshall.

Kirk:  I'll make an offer on Marshall Have either of you worked a deal on Nathan?

Ben Bledsoe Are you proposing trades to everyone again this week?

Mayor Sellers: Hoo me?

Ben: Not this year

Mayor Sellers: I have a standing trade to just about everyone, weekly. I'm gonna be driving in just a couple minutes - my pick for this week is Doc. Poor Nathan is playing varsity teams with. JV squad.

Kirk: Completely agree. I am proposing trades this week

Mayor Sellers: I've been there though. but instead of a JV squad mine was more 7th grade girls.

Kirk: Okay let's look at Chad and Russ

The Champeens (2-5) vs. Double-o Daddy (3-4)

ESPN Gameline: Chad by 5.4

Mayor Sellers: BTW - this was already confusing with 2 in the convo - adding a third might drive one of the readers insane.

Kirk: I got it worked in my head with colors

Kirk: Chad: Tannehill (QB)< Bishop Stankie (RB), Doug Martin (RB), Antonio Brown (WR), Eman Sands (WR), and Owen Daniels.

Kirk: Sorry Mark and Chad

Ben: I don't trust things that "work" in Kirk's head.

Kirk: Mark is Stafford (WB), Forte (RB), Lacy (RB),  Kendall Wright (WR), Julian Edleman (WR), and Dwyane Allen (TE) I don't trust a 21 point projection for a Maimi QB Call me jaded

Kirk: How do both these teams has losing records

Mayor Sellers: Driving now .... Going silent.

Kirk: Okay we'll pick up there later tonight

Ben: Sounds good.

Kirk:Gentlemen.  Do you think I'll get anything for AP

Ben Bledsoe You'd have to give me a HJ to take AP.

Kirk:You have until Friday afternoon

Ben Bledsoe Seriously, I bet you could something from a team with weak keepers.

Mayor Sellers:  Sorry dudes, was in the middle of cleaning out a shower drain and other misc. Mr. Mom chores. AP? Good luck. I might give you my redshirt for him.

Mayor Sellers:  And by redshirt, I mean my sons little red shirt I just folded.

Kirk:Thanks Joe. Ben offered a HJ so...Probably going with that right now

Ben: Man, I just read Mark's post. Nothing has ever defined another coach like that.

Mayor Sellers: Makes sense.

Ben: No, you misunderstood. Re-read that, Kirk. You give me an HJ for me to take AP.

Mayor Sellers: I don't think he misunderstood.

Ben:  Nice!

Kirk:I did not mis understand Come on home Big Ben

Ben: So who do you think got the worst of Mark's hatred?

Kirk:Current no offer by the way It has been 4 hours

Mayor Sellers: Hooever takes on AP should have to be "switched" AP style.

Kirk:In his special spanking room. Which is a real thing He had a special room

Ben: Kirk is getting more and more excited for Spanking his kid

Mayor Sellers: They call that the bedroom where I come from.

Kirk:You don't have AP money SO Chad and Mark I feel like this is a game Chad is born to win

Kirk:Well raised to win He was born to destory

Mayor Sellers: Mark, just got a feeling.

Mayor Sellers: Chads mind is on going undefeated with his real football team.

Kirk:Is that real...good for him

Mayor Sellers: Fo real, his last year coaching football too.

Kirk:Good on both counts. Okay on to Patrick and Russ

Gliterfist Lasersnakes (3-4) vs. The Magic Stick (3-4)

ESPN Gameline: Russ by 6.7

Kirk:Patrick is Alex Smith (QB), Arian Foster (RB), Ronnie Hillman (RB), ANdre Johnson (WR), Dez Bryant (WR), and Antonio Gates (TE)

Kirk: Russ is Joe Flacco (QB0, Marshawn Lynch (RB), LeSean McCoy (RB), Jordy Nelson (WR), and Golden Tate (WR) with Jordan Cameron (TE)

Kirk: I'd like to think that the Chargers got Hillman figured out And that will hurt Patrick

Ben: I go Mark on the previous game and Russ for this one. Too much love remains for Beast Mode.

Mayor Sellers: Texans are hard to trust when they have an old sea captain at QB... I'm going with Russ.

Kirk:I think Russ is quickly becoming one of the elite teams  If he makes it to the playoffs, then the will be top 4

Mayor Sellers: It's a lesson in willingness to trade ... Russ used to never deal.

Kirk:And Russ pushed that deal

Mayor Sellers: Now he's moving product like a pro.

Ben: And he still has Mega hurt on the bench.

Kirk:Yeah wait until he comes on line

Mayor Sellers: What's gonna kill him is roster management when things get tight.

Kirk:How do you mean?

Mayor Sellers: Sitting and starting the right combo.

Kirk:Yeah that was part of the evil in my trade to him of Golden Tate

I want him to have to think it through And on those Sundays I want him to curse me

Mayor Sellers: Hoo'd u get for Tate?

Kirk:Mike Williams

Mayor Sellers: U mean Evans?

Kirk:I do...Corrected

Kirk:I see Keeper potential there and I didn't think anyone would go for Tate on his own knowing that Megatron was in the wings

Kirk:I also thought I was going to lose to Paul and took Mike "I say Williams" Evans

on a bye week

Kirk:Okay Norris and Ben

Blackpool Penguins (5-2) vs. Jesus the Moose (1-6)

ESPN Gameline: Norris by 5.5

Mayor Sellers: Hmmm Roster up

Kirk:Ben 3.0 brings Russell Wilson Please throw the ball Russell Wilson

Jamaal Charles (RB), Charles Clay (TE), and Devil's 3way TY Hilton, Cordarrelle Patterson, and Larry Fitz

Mayor Sellers: Oh Fitz, how I miss u not.

Kirk:Norris is Andrew Luck (QB), DeMarco Murray (RB), Anthony Dixon (RB), Julio JOnes (WR), Mohamed Sanu (WR), and Cody Fleener

Kirk:I was looking at Norris today I don't see that he needs to trade or pick anyone up any more

Mayor Sellers: Honestly, I think Ben takes this one.

Kirk:I think it depends is AJ Green plays

Kirk:Norris has him on the bench That is a 9 point - 20 point potential swin of fortune

Mayor Sellers: Fleener and Dixon will severely underperform. Cordy breaks out this week.

Kirk:Ben I would love to see you win

Ben: I am going to..

Kirk:Yeah I think Dixon was waiver bait Ben I am penciling you in here

Mayor Sellers: Norris needs a TE and some defense, and maybe a more solid flex guy.

Ben: I'm going on a run toward Jenna.

Kirk:The Maths will be problematic.  Okay let's look at this Quilt of You Bitches

The Sexy Badasses (5-2) vs. Voodoo Brown (4-3)

ESPN Gameline: Joe by 3.8

Mayor Sellers: Um

Kirk: Joe brings Cutler (QB), Jerick McKinnon (RB), Alfred MOrris (RB), Sammy Watkins (WR), James Jones (WR) and Jimmy Jam (TE)

Kirk:I bring A Rodgers (QB), Chris Ivory (RB), Mike "Williams" Evans (WR), Keenan Allen (WR), Jemanie Kearse (WR) in my Devil's 3way and Bennett (TE)

Kirk:Joe there are few critical Qs on your team right now

Kirk:You think Jimmy Graham can stop advertising to me in time to play this week

Ben:  Joe - good job suckering me out if Watkins and into Stacey. And then picking up Mason You = smart; me = dumb

Mayor Sellers: Never my intent to do harm, but it sure helped me turn Mason into McKinnon.

Kirk:Getting McKinnon is the key to your team I should have recoginized that earlier I am not that bright

Mayor Sellers:  I live having 3 Redskins on my team - LOVE IT!!!

Ben: I gotta think Joe gets the W here

Mayor Sellers:  If u didn't know this about me, I hate the Redskins.

Kirk:Yeah Joe.  You keep the Quilt once you get the QUilt that is

Ben: Racism is bad Joe.

Kirk:You want to give up the Frenchie let's make a deal

Mayor Sellers: Not this week.

Kirk:I'm go for Morris too I almost worked a trade with you this week

Mayor Sellers: I'm the most redskin of all you people, so I can say it.

Ben: I demand genetic testing

Kirk:So if I call you a redskin is that racist If not then I too demand Genetic Testing

Mayor Sellers: I take no offense, honkey.

Kirk:haha I prefer cracker

Kirk: Okay Paul and Rookie

Properly Plugged Pussies (5-2) vs. Barclay Street Bruisers (5-2)

ESPN Gameline: Rookie by 15.5

Kirk:This is your game of the week

Kirk:Paul (5-2): Palmer (QB), Lamar Miller (RB), Alshon Jeffery (WR), Jeremy Maclin (WR), and Andre Ellington (RB), and Julius Thomas (TE)

Mayor Sellers: Rookie looking strong, but needs a high end TE and some sweet IDP action (hint hint)

Kirk:Rookie is Peyton Manning (QB), LeVeon Bell (RB), Ahmad Bradshaw (RB), Randall Cobb (WR), Kelvin Benjamin (WR), and Scott Chandler (TE)

Kirk: Rookie I have what you need.  Let's make a trade I have an offer outstanding at this moment to fix some of that

Mayor Sellers: If you're reading this Rookie, DO NOT trade one of your 8 RBs to Kirk!

Mayor Sellers: I just took a second glance at Paul's team - Good heavens! No way I pick against the Bruisers.

Ben: I am still rooting for Paul to win this year.

Picking BSB

Mayor Sellers: Paul needs to man up and get a real QB, though.

Kirk:Paul Caron Palmer can not win a cup That is a fact The cup judges him unworthy

Mayor Sellers: That's Paul's only chink in his armor from my POV.

Ben Bledsoe But Palmer been okay in the games he has played, right?

Kirk:That why Paul won last week……..Oh wait

Mayor Sellers: Big Joe gonna have to step away for a while ... Some animals are loose in the zoo.

Ben:  Same here. We are taking care of two extra boys. It is madness. A relaxing way to come home from work.

Kirk:Okay Gentlemen:  Here is the last game for when you return

Kirk:Kendall and Yado

The Hezballers (4-3) vs. Pink Nightmare (3-4)

ESPN Gameline: Kendall by 18.7

Kirk: Kendall is Tom Brady (QB), Giovani Bernard (RB), Joique Bell (RB), Michael Floyd (WR), Torrey Smith (WR), Greg Olsen (TE)

Kirk:Yado: Romo, Zah Ertz (TE), Devil's 3 Way D-Thomas, Terrance Williams, and Percy Harvin.

Kirk:2 Questions

Kirk:1. Does Kendall still have a real chance at winning the cup

Kirk:2. Does Yado at (4-3) have a real chance at the cup

Ben: 1. KH is always a threat, but is a longshot at this point. Gio needs to keep blowing up to keep the dream alive.

Ben: 2. Yado is riding a luck wave (according to the Nits). It has to end sooner or later...right?

Ben: My answers to both are no, not a real chance, but I think still have outside chances.

Ben:  Bledsoe Far outside.

Mayor Sellers:  Kendall wins this one walking away.

Mayor Sellers: Kendall always has a shot, but someone has got to catch fire soon. It'll probably be a combination of Mason and Smith that do it.

Mayor Sellers:  Yado has no shot, unless DT scores all of his points for him. No one, in real life or fantasy will win a championship with Romo at the helm.

Mayor Sellers: BTW - While I was writing all of this, Allen was blowing up on TNF ...I told you he would Krik