Don't get your hopes up. This isn't going to be a newfangled transcript of a text exchange. It's going to be old school. One man, at a keyboard, typing. Please enjoy the fruits of my loom.
August 17 Auction
- Dexter McCluster, $0 to Kendall -- This was me, simply correcting the draft-day mistake of selecting Brandon LaFell. (I blame the Fireball.) DexMcClux* had me dreaming of the Danny Woodhead role in San Diego. Plus, eligibility at both RB and WR! Plus, highlights!
*Meanwhile, I'd like to officially move for a nickname for McCluster. Darren McFadden is "Run DMC," right? Dexter McCluster should be Fun DMC. Pontificate.
August 20 Auction
- Malcom Floyd, $2 to Joe -- You'll have to ask Joe about this one, because I do not understand it one iota.
- Jonathan Stewart, $0 to Paul -- It happens every year: somebody goes and gets their cock teased. I guess Paulie misplaced some of his long-term memory in his move to Seattle.
- Delanie Walker, $0 to Chad -- This, my friends, is "replacement value" at the 2014 tight end position.
- Robert Turbin, $0 to Nathan -- I have no facts whatsoever to back this up, but I feel like Nathan is the CKL's best / biggest ghouler. (A "ghouler," in FF parlance, is one who drafts/acquires backup running backs in hopes that the aging or otherwise fragile starter goes down. It's a perfectly acceptable and viable strategy in a deep and hyper-competitive league like the CKL, but it is a little bit mean-spirited and probably helps harvest some bad karma.) Anyway, it appears that Turbo is the actual handcuff to Beast Mode, so nice ghouling by Nathan here (and shitty drafting by Kendall, who took Christine Michael at the beginning of the 6th round, and even to this day has not come to grips with the need to just cut the player.)
- Geno Smith, $0 to Nathan -- 'Cuz Nathan was one Geno Smith short of the perfect plan at the quarterback position. FOR THE RECORD, I don't think Nathan had a bad draft, as others have proclaimed. Instead, I think he maybe got busted being a little bit too cute, and ended up without a real starting quarterback. "Too cute" picks I'll specifically point out:
- Lamar Miller instead of Matt Ryan in the 3rd round
- Fred Jackson instead of Tony Romo in the 4th round
- DeAngelo Williams instead of Philip Rivers or Andy Dalton in the 6th round
- Greg Jennings instead of Ben Roethlisberger in the 7th round
- Brian Hartline - since dropped - over Alex Smith in the 9th round
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| I hate this fucking guy. |
August 27 Auction
- Mohamed Sanu, $0 to Kendall -- I had just [Tuesday] dropped Sam Bradford, and had a hole to fill. With Marvin Jones out, Mo Sanu is the #2 WR in Cincy, for whatever that's worth. (I'm nothing if not a homer, and I'm a big Mo Sanu fan in real life. He's a really good football player!)
August 29 Auction
- Tim Wright, $3 to Joe -- After the trade to the Pats, it's not a stretch at all to see Wright as potentially Aaron Hernandez 2.0 AND SIMULTANEOUSLY the Gronk handcuff. I'd also add that Wright is probably the Danny Amendola handcuff in the slot. So this is an interesting claim for Joe. Like with Malcom Floyd, Joe was bidding against himself... but it was an interesting claim.
- Kenny Britt, $0 to Nathan -- The intriguing note here is that Nathan dropped Josh Gordon to make this claim. Britt, as we all know, is a talented dude. To be cliché, he's a million dollar talent with a ten cent head. Or something like that. (Doesn't matter; Britt gets dropped so that Nathan can field a full team of three IDPs and a kicker.)
August 30 Auction
- Josh Gordon, $15 to Yado -- This claim was the muse for this special edition of FAABnalysis. Yado bid against himself (bad move), but he did it in making a strong move to fortify the future of his previously mis-managed franchise (good move). At the end of the day, this is what I think FAAB is really all about --- being ballsy and putting your convictions on display. Good for you, Yado! And even better for you, given THIS REPORT.
September 3 Auction
- Brandon Spikes & C.J. Mosley, $0 each to Nathan -- Nathan has made some mistakes in the early going, but with these two claims he is teaching a master class on the virtues of not drafting IDPs. In my humble opinion, these two guys each have a strong chance to play as top-20 IDPs this season. Great claims for the THUNDER BEAR.
- Tyler Eifert, $0 to Kendall -- I decided that I'd rather have a backup tight end and the guy who is probably the real #2 passing game target in Cincy.
- Derek Carr, $0 to Kendall -- I drank the kool-aid on the kid. And I hate to admit this, but I'm finding that I have a weird soft spot for the Raiders. Now that Kelly Jensen is so far removed from my life, the venom has faded into just a faint memory. Ghostvenom.
- Benny Cunningham, $0 to Joe -- The Zac Stacy handcuff? I guess that makes sense, though I (and Russ!) really thought [3rd round rookie] Tre Mason was that guy. Either we're right, or the Rams are horrible at drafting. Furthermore, WHO THE HELL IS BENNY CUNNINGHAM???
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| Tre Mason |
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| Benny Cunningham |
Kendall's Top 10 Available
RB Donald Brown
RB/WR Dexter McCluster
QB Josh McCown
TE Marcedes Lewis
WR Brian Hartline
RB Robert Turbin
WR Aaron Dobson
RB Alfred Blue
WR Mohamed Sanu
RB Mike Tolbert
That's it for now. See you again next Wednesday.
Until then, remember...
GOTTA SPEND TO WIN.
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