Wednesday FAABnalysis -- Week 1, 9/10/14

The first week of FAAB is always the most important, the most crucial, and the trickiest to navigate. Potentially.

With that as the backdrop, and with a belly full of burgers so I can conjure the appropriate amount of fervor and wit (and profanity) (and meat sweats), we will tackle today's FAABnalysis.

But first, some theme music.

Maybe get a blister on your little finger.  Maybe get a blister on your thumb.

Okay kids, you know how we do.  But I'm making some small changes to the windup and delivery.  Tweaks.  You'll love it.

Justin Forsett

Winning Bid: $55 to Yado

Dropped: Ray Rice (Tuesday Drop!)

Losing Bid(s): $37 to Norris, $33 to Derrick, $33 to Ben, $30 to Rookie, $29 to Kendall ($1 more than Norris' opening bid on the message board), $15 to Mark, $12 to Kirk.

What I read somewhere about the player: "With Ray Rice no longer a Raven—not to mention suspended indefinitely—and Bernard Pierce fumbling away his opportunity in Baltimore, Forsett is bound to be the hot pickup this week. However, there’s a limit to his upside—and his 11-70-1, 5-14 showing in Week 1 is pretty much it. Forsett has two career outings with more than 100 combo yards, and both came back in 2009 with the Seahawks. He also has a total of 10 touchdowns in 88 career games, no more than one a season since 2010, and last week’s workload exceeded everything he’s done combined since his last game with double-digit carries—which was on December 2, 2012 as a member of the Texans. Forsett also sees the Steelers (on a short week), Browns and Panthers over the next month, a slate that’s extremely likely to reveal him for the journeyman he is."

FAABnalysis: I have a few salient points to make...  1) It's not often we get a chance to bid on a running back who has a chance to step directly into a workhorse role the next time he sees a football field.  2) Major kudos to Yado for being balls-out and decisive in his early-season moves.  $15 to claim Josh Gordon, Tuesday Drop Ray Rice, $55 for Forsett.  Message sent and received, loud and clear.  Yado might be relatively new to fantasy football, but he is here to PLAY.  3) Forsett is a journeyman who is turning 29 this season.  Our auctions that track above the $40 threshold are usually reserved for players with keeper-type potential.  However, I would be very excited if this is the new normal for CKL FAAB.  We as a league have $1400 to spend on players that (conceivably) rank below the top 250 in fantasy football.  Throw big money around, be bold.  4) Yado has already blown $70.  Errr... I mean... he has...

I think you get the picture.

Brian Quick

Winning Bid: $13 to Ben

Dropped: Brian Hoyer

Losing Bid(s): $8 to Kirk, $7 to Kendall

What I read somewhere about the player: "Just like in Cleveland, someone on the Rams had to catch passes and in Week 1, it was Quick. A former second-round draft pick, Quick was a raw physical specimen coming out of Appalachian State. After a strong training camp and opening week, this could be Quick’s breakout season. He certainly has the physical skills. Quick caught seven passes for 99 yards against the Vikings. The Rams are down to their third-string quarterback but Quick is worth grabbing if you need receiver help."

FAABnalysis: Quick's a 6-3, 220-pound physical specimen entering the mythical third year for wide receivers.  The Rams are going to suck this year, and be behind and throwing.  None of their other receivers - Kenny Britt, Tavon Austin, Chris Givens, Austin Pettis, Stedman Bailey - have done a damn thing in a Rams jersey.  Add it up, and I like a shot in the dark at Quick.  Ben didn't need help in his starting lineup, and he grabbed Quick to fill a spot at the end of the bench.  I'm good with all of that.

It's the quick boomerang, bitch.
SO FUCKING SUE ME.  I GOT TIRED OF IMAGE SEARCHING FOR "QUICK."

Isaiah Crowell

Winning Bid: $12 to Patrick

Dropped: Davante Adams

Losing Bid(s): $7 to Kirk, $5 to Rookie, $5 to Kendall, $3 to Norris

What I read somewhere about the player: "Terrance West (who's owned in most leagues) got more work than Crowell Sunday: 16 carries for 100 yards for West, five carries for 32 yards and two red-zone TDs for Crowell. I thought West looked decent, though he doesn't seem to be a particularly sudden athlete. If he has space, he can get up to speed and make a nice play. Crowell, on the other hand, seemed to surprise the Steelers' defense with his acceleration. We've always known Crowell has great talent; he was a track hero and five-star recruit at Georgia before being expelled as a freshman. But maturity and personality are definitely question marks, which implies that West may stay ahead of Crowell for the time being. Still, deep-leaguers should note that guys with this much raw ability don't often see ownership numbers this low."

FAABnalysis: The trio of knocks on Crowell: 1) Shit for brains, 2) #3 on the depth chart, 3) plays for the Browns.  Despite all that, I'm a big believer in the better talent bubbling up on NFL rosters, and especially at the running back position.  And I think Crowell is the best the Browns have got.  Boom.  I suspect Patrick added more than a mere Ben Tate handcuff here.

Donnie Avery

Winning Bid: $11 to Derrick

Dropped: Charles Sims (Redshirt Burned!)

Losing Bid(s): $7 to Kirk

What I read somewhere about the player: "Avery was working as the Chiefs No. 1 receiver with Dwayne Bowe suspended for the opener. Against the Titans Avery saw a team-high 13 targets, catching seven balls for 84 yards. Avery should see his share of targets again this week against Denver. Kanas City is going to need to score some point to keep up with the Broncos. Even with Bowe back, expect Avery to make a fantasy impact for the second week in a row."

FAABnalysis: Our first Airport Cinnabon of the 2014 season.  Have no clue what I'm talking about?  Watch this:

Eric Berry

Winning Bid: $8 to Russ

Dropped: Derrick Johnson

Losing Bid(s): $0 to Rookie

FAABnalysis: 15 tackles in week 1, and a defense that just lost its stud MLB (thus leaving lots of scraps to the safeties).  Yeah, I'd say Berry is going to be an IDP asset this season.  Nice claim, Russ.  Too bad you had to overpay, but I still think it was money well spent.

Dexter McCluster

Winning Bid: $7 to Kendall

Dropped: Christine Michael

Losing Bid(s): n/a

What I read somewhere about the player: "Tennessee Titans RB Dexter McCluster's nine carries in Week 1 were the second most on the team. Fantasy GMs take note as new Titans coach Ken Whisenhunt is said to be a fan of McCluster, who had 4 more touches than draft darling Bishop Sankey in the opener."

FAABnalysis: It was the above blurb in USA Today that prompted me to throw $7 at a player I dropped a week ago.  I'd feel embarrassed if I had any shame.  Whatever, Fun DMC and his sexy dual citizenship at both RB and WR is back on my bench.

Bobby Rainey

Winning Bid: $6 to Joe

Dropped: Tim Wright

Losing Bid(s): $4 to Norris, $1 to Kirk

What I read somewhere about the player: "Here we go again! The undersized Rainey (5-8, 212) dominated Tampa's backfield touches after Doug Martin left Sunday's game with a leg injury, and as of this writing it's unclear whether Martin will miss more time. If he does, Rainey figures to be the most valued member of the Bucs' backfield. Realize, however, that Mike James (0.2 percent) is still in town, and in a game where Tampa isn't playing from behind, it's possible James -- who was pretty good last season until he broke a leg -- would be the early-down component in a platoon. Still, the jitterbugging Rainey got on a roll a few times in 2013 and scored seven TDs. He should at least be added by Martin owners."

FAABnalysis: Swift, efficient, effective move by Joe to swoop in and secure his handcuff for Doug Martin.  I don't know if the Bucs are going to be worth a damn this season, but I thionk it's safe to say that their running game will at least be better than it was last year, which means Joe has a lock on some decent production.

Harry Douglas

Winning Bid: $5 to Kirk

Dropped: Jordan Todman (Redshirt Burned!)

Losing Bid(s): n/a

What I read somewhere about the player: "Douglas isn't quite as small as [Andrew] Hawkins, but he fills the same role in Atlanta's offense: slot weapon. With Julio Jones and Roddy White around, Douglas battles everyone else for table scraps, but when I saw White limp off the field near the end of the first half Sunday, my mind flashed to Douglas potentially as Matt Ryan's No. 2 wideout. (White wound up being OK.) Deep-leaguers can consider rostering Douglas, who could -- in the absence of Tony Gonzalez -- establish deeper PPR value as a player who catches six to eight passes every week."

FAABnalysis: Dudes --- Atlanta's new base offense is 3-wide.  I'm surprised nobody else threw money at porn star Harry Douglas.  And I can't believe I'm about to say this - like, I'm literally shocked by what I'm about to type - this was a really savvy, veteran move by Kirk.

This joke never gets old.

Jermaine Gresham

Winning Bid: $5 to Russ

Dropped: Jared Cook

Losing Bid(s): $1 to Kendall

FAABnalysis: Tyler Eifert is out until week 10, so Russ made a smart move to acquire the new #1 tight end in Cincy.  HOWEVER, I don't think Gresham is the new #3 passing passing game target for the Bengals (behind A.J. Green and Gio Bernard).  Scroll down to see where my convictions lie...

Dumpster Diving...

Sio Moore, $6 to Joe -- He had a huge week 1, with 13 tackles, a sack, and two forced fumbles.  That's 17.6 points.

Rod Streater, $5 to Chad -- Oh boy, a Raiders receiver. Enjoy your spin around this carousel, Chad.

Levine Toilolo, $5 to Mark -- I'm more excited about the Friday Rebound auction for Kenny Stills than I am about Mark claiming a worthless placeholder tight end in the Falcons offense.

Geno Smith, $4 to Paul -- We're going to see Paul and Nathan make lots of funny moves at the QB position until one or both of them make trades to secure proper starters.

Lorenzo Taliaferro, $3 to Paul -- Rookie and I were also on this guy, the real long-shot upside play in that in-flux Ravens backfield.  Nice claim, Paulie!

Mohamed Sanu, $2 to Kendall -- Another guy I picked up for free, dropped, then claimed for money.  With the Eifert injury, I think Sanu is a legit WR4 in fantasy football.  I really do believe that.

Joe Flacco, $0 to Kendall -- Hands off, Paul and Nathan!

Aaron Dobson, $0 to Paul -- Paul did a great job of getting good upside plays for cheap this week.  Kudos.

The rest were kickers and IDPs I don't really give a shit about.

I'm trimming out all of the other bullshit for now --- I need to get this process down to about an hour each Wednesday, so it fits into my lunch break.  Fuck off.

So that's it for this week.  But remember...

GOTTA SPEND TO WIN!