Week 1: Promises and Predictions - Part 2 (the Bledsoe side)

My whole-hearted welcome to you as well.  And good job to Kirk on a sexy, badass part one of these predictions.

Before I throw out my predictions, I’d like to thank all my fellow CKL’ers for all they did for the Moose on our championship run last year.  Thank you for underestimating my team after many years of futility.  Thank you for having inferior teams.  And most of all, thank you for bending over and taking a generous portion of Moose manhood deeper and deeper…into the playoffs.

Seriously though, it is an unexpected honor to have the Cup displayed proudly in my home.

On to the predictions:

Glitterfist Lasersnakes vs. The Sexy Badasses

ESPN line: 99-84, Kirk

Despite all the jokes about Kirk’s absentee draft strategy and consequent team name, he has somehow pulled out a pretty amazing starting lineup: Rodgers, Purple Jesus, a healthy Hakeem Nicks, Mike Wallace, CJ2K + 3 years, and Vernon Davis.  That reads pretty impressive.  So, I’ll buy for week one through, say, 5, but after that I am betting on some injury potential.  So, cheers to dominating for a few weeks Kirk, but prepare for the hangover of a red O beside players like Nicks, Johnson and even AP.

The GFLS has a smattering of players that look to be a decent team.  Manning was an inspired pickup 2 years ago and has proven a great keeper.  Dez Bryant was a very solid draft pick.  Sproles and Witten will probably outperform expectations on the year, but only Sproles will do so this week.  In the end, I see Patrick getting burned by T.Y. Hilton and Bradshaw – too many mouths to feed in Indy.

Sexy Badasses romp to the predicted 15 point victory.  By the way, I hope the Achilles Heels make their way back to the team names.

Blackpool Penguins vs. THUNDER Bear

ESPN Line: 85-89, TBear

This is a fun matchup between last year’s runner-up and a perennial fan favorite.  It is hard to find too many faults with either team.

 

As Norris took tiny sips from the tiny Most-Improved trophy at the draft, I thought, “Wow! I got really lucky to beat a team with Tom Brady, Julio Jones, and CJ Spiller.”  Then he took that 14^th draft spot and added Torrey Smith and Demarco Murray at the turn.  Next he strengthened his second-place roster with JJ Watt, which had to give him first-rate wood after what JJ did last year.  Norris looks to be a contender again in his third year, which I hate because it took me about six just to make the playoffs.

Nate’s team is ripe with big fantasy names and expectations.  Fantasy names like Jenna Jamison and Asia Carrera.  Wait, that is my other blog (http://www.imdb.com/list/wg3OTKpSKFo/#1).   Nathan has big names like RGIII and Doug Martin, stalwarts like VJax and Antonio Gates, and guys expecting big leaps like Brandon Marshall and Reggie Bush (which could actually be a porn name).  Nate’s roster has some seriously scary upside.

This one will be as painfully close as dominating two playoff games only to lose in the championship. I like TBear by a hair in this one, but could see the Penguin defensive stars prove me very wrong.  And I’d be shorting the write up if I didn't pile it on Norris one last time with a “the first loser will lose his first game” comment.  Sorry, Mr. Bunn, we can always use a little more hubris in this league.

The Magic Stick vs. Kick Azz Giants

ESPN Line: 100-88, Stick

Really, the Magic Stick gets the highest ESPN point line for the week?!?  That just seems crazy, especially with Cam Newton facing Seattle’s D, Gonzalez facing a Medicare application, and Fitzgerald facing a has-been QB with an ailing clitoris (Go Cards??? Ugh).  McCoy better step up, because I don’t see Jordy or DeAngelo scoring a zillion points either.  Am I missing something?

I think the KAG will surprise some of us this year.  I bet Kaepernick lives up to the hype.  I bet Ridley does great things as a true RB1 for the Patriots.  And, much to my chagrin and against my better judgment for the comparison, I bet David Wilson turn into Tiki II in New York (and not for cheating on his pregnant wife).  Then he’ll get Gronk back…!

I like Doc’s team in this one in an “upset” by 5 or so.


Good luck this week everyone.  I promise not to be such an arrogant prick every week.