Wednesday FAABnalysis -- 11/28/12

Big huge haymaker bids today.  I can't wait to get to it.  But first, your soundtrack for today's auction action...

That's right.  ABBA.  Fuck yeah.

Anyway, like I was saying...  If you enjoy bid porn, this week is your stroke show.

• 15 total claims
• 10 cash claims
• $108 spent
• $10.80 per cash claim

Pop open the cap on your rocketsauce and get to knuckle-dusting...

Knowshon Moreno -- $41 to Paul
dropped: Delon Carter / other bids: $31 to Ben, $28 to Norris, $25 to Chad, $20 to Rookie, $15 to Kirk, $13 to Kendall, $7 to Mark, $4 to Nathan, $0 to Joe
Well, I guess this is why you sit on your money until the end of the season.  Moreno went from 1st round draft pick to the doghouse, to IR, back to the doghouse, back to IR, to inactive on game day, to THE GUY in the Denver running attack.  Ronnie Hillman, you blew it thanks to pass pro worse than Know's.  Jesus.  Moreno faces a decent schedule down the stretch and into the CKL playoffs, but I don't see him starting over Stevan Ridley in the BSB backfield.  So this was a move for some insurance at RB for Paul, along with an aggressive arm-swat type of cockblock to the others who might have wanted Moreno.  Best offense = good defense?  Helvin's cauliflower ear says hello.

Rashad Jennings -- $24 to Chad
dropped: Madieu Williams or DeMarcus Ware (tuesday dropped!) / other bids: $20 to Rookie, $20 to Russ, $0 to Joe, $0 to Nathan
I really don't want to be a dick to you guys throwing double Hamiltons at Jennings, but... have you seen the fucking guy play since MJD went down?  If not, let me clue you in:  He fucking sucks.  How about 2.8 yards per carry?  Does that sound good to you?  And that was across a fairly large sample size, 93 rushes.  Look, I get it -- nothing else to bid on.  But I think I would rather just lay down to rest in the Golden Sarcophagus than throw my money at this bum.  For Chad, Jennings won't start over Jammy-C or Ahmad Bradshaw, but he might give Michael Turner a run for his money in the shitty #3 role.  Speaking of #3...  If piss is #1 and poop is #2, what's #3?

DeAngelo Williams -- $20 to Rookie
dropped: Kurt Coleman / other bids: $10 to Kendall, $5 to Kirk, $0 to Joe
I wonder if DeAngelo is related to the world-famous Lemonjello?  Hey, true story:  My cousin is a 3rd-grade teacher up in DC, and she had a kid in her class named LaDynasty.  That's not Lady Nasty, but it sure looks like it.  Hey, I'm not a racist, I just think some of these names are getting a little bit out of hand.  We need to get back to good old fashioned names like Billy Bob and Cooter.  Wait, what were we talking about again?

David Wilson -- $14 to Derrick
dropped: Cedric Benson / other bids: $12 to Norris, $0 to Nathan
Let me paint a picture for you.  Ahmad Bradshaw goes down with another sprained labia.  Who does Chad use to fill his now-vacated flex spot?  He could have had the new Bradshaw handcuff, the potentially-explosive Giants' 1st round draft pick and former Hokie David Wilson, or he could spend $10 more for the right to use Rashad Jennings.  Derrick is a Giants fan and he's smart enough to know that David Wilson could be keeper-worthy if the right stars align, so I give him a heap of credit for this bold claim.  Chad, I think you missed the boat, my man.  Maybe the stress of trying to make your first-ever playoff appearance is getting to you?

Dumpster Diving...

Dennis Pitta, $3 to Kendall -- I tried a million times to pry him away from T-BEAR at the beginning of the season.  I bludgeoned Nate with trade offers, but he wouldn't budge.  Well, this is my big, giant FU to Nathan.  Win in the end, motherfuck.

Brandon Jacobs, $0 to Kirk -- He lost Kendall Hunter, but was able to sneak in and land Jacobs.  Smooth operation there, Kork.

Dwayne Harris, $0 to Joe -- Like him.  But why not Cole Beasley or Riley Cooper?

LeGarrette Blount, $0 to Nathan -- Smart.  Gotta cuff up the Muscle Hamster for this playoff run.


The rest?  Suck me.


Remaining Budgets:

Achilles Heels -- $33
Kick Azz Giants -- $32
Jesus the Moose -- $31
The Magic Stick -- $30
Blackpool Penguins -- $28
Glitterfist Lasersnakes -- $26
The Champeens -- $12
Pink Nightmare -- $10
Juris United -- $8
Double-O Daddy -- $6
THUNDER BEAR -- $4
Barclay Street Bruisers -- $2
Roo Tang Clan -- $0
Nth Degree -- $0


Biggest Claims to Date:

Rashad Jennings, $47 to Nathan on 10/24

Knowshon Moreno, $41 to Paul on 11/28

Alex Green, $32 to Mark on 10/10

Kevin Ogletree, $26 to Kendall on 9/12

T.Y. Hilton, $26 to Chad on 11/7

Jalen Parmele, $24 to Alan on 11/21

Julian Edelman, $24 to Patrick on 11/21

Rashad Jennings, $24 to Chad on 11/28

Greg Olsen, $21 to Kendall on 9/26

Chaz Schilens, $21 to Kirk on 10/3

Danario Alexander, $21 to Mark on 11/14

DeAngelo Williams, $20 to Rookie on 11/28

Andre Brown, $19 to Russ on 9/19

LaRod Stephens-Howling, $17 to Ben on 10/24

Daniel Thomas, $16 to Rookie on 9/26

Robert Meachem, $15 to Paul on 10/10

Chris Ivory, $15 to Alan on 11/7

Marcel Reece, $15 to Kendall on 11/7

Domenik Hixon, $14 to Nathan on 10/3

David Wilson, $14 to Derrick on 11/28

Jeremy Kerley, $13 to Derrick on 9/12

Daryl Richardson, $13 to Derrick on 9/19

Tashard Choice, $13 to Patrick on 9/26

Ramses Barden, $12 to Russ on 9/26

Brandon Bolden, $12 to Paul on 10/3

Montario Hardesty, $12 to Russ on 10/17

Ryan Broyles, $12 to Rookie on 10/24

DeAngelo Williams, $12 to Joe on 11/2

Chad Henne, $12 to Rookie on 11/21

Dexter McCluster, $11 to Nathan on 9/12

Brian Hartline, $11 to Rookie on 9/19

Sidney Rice, $11 to Joe on 9/21 (Friday FAAB Rebound!)

LaRod Stephens-Howling, $11 to Rookie on 10/10

Tim Jennings, $11 to Ben on 10/31

Emmanuel Sanders, $11 to Joe on 11/7

Danny Woodhead, $10 to Patrick on 10/10



That's it for this week. But as always, remember...

GOTTA SPEND TO WIN!