Alright gentlemen, time to fuck you up with some truth. Nathan and Kendall have laid out the stakes and evil duo of Ben-Kirk is here to tell you how things are going to play out.
United at Nightmare: Eat that Shit Fucker!
ESPN Gameline: Alan 108.1 - Kendall 124.9
Alan I want you to win very badly here. I love Kendall more than any man I have known, but having the Nightmare fall short of grace would add another fucking chapter to this storied season. And having the 1-11 team reach up with its dying hand and steal it away would lay a motherfucking cherry on top.But alas, the stories that make up life generally do not come from the pages of Penthouse Forum. And for you I do not see the last minute foursome with three wet slutty cheerleaders who have daddy issues and bondage tendencies. No your final curtain call this season will be swallowing the hot jizz that flows from Kendall ripe dick as he realize that he has made the playoffs again. Don't let it linger Alan, swallow it down quick and remember that Demaryius Thomas and Dwayne Bowe will still be there for you next year.
Snakes at Stick: See you next season
ESPN Gameline: Patrick 108.5 - Russ 83.7
Patrick you are going to win. Your team is better. Your match-ups are better. Russ is beating on Larry Fitz and T Rich to carry him over the line but that won't overcome Reese and Bennett weighing him down. Also his kicker sucks.
However long term I don't know who you are going to keep. Good luck with that shit.
Russ as the season closes down, let's take this moment once again to reflect with you. To reflect on another season of pointless ambition and hours of wasted effort.
Here is the historic record of failure that is your legacy.
2005 - 3-11
2006 - 5-9
2007 - 4-10
2008 - 6-8
2009 - 7-7
2010 - 4-10
2011 - 6-7
2012 - 5-8 or 6-7....does it matter?
Don't think you are getting the most improved fuck you trophy this year.
Russ you are officially the league's bent over whore just waiting patiently to be fuck. Let it not be said you are a cheap whore, because cheap whores don't garner respect when you brag about fucking them. No I think your name cares some weight in some circles among some unnamed team managers, but in the end you are a whore just the same. So ready yourself for one more meaningless encounter as someone else pounds out another W from your eternal ass of giving.And both of you please remember that this weekend I am playing for the playoffs, while you are playing with yourselves.
Editor's Note: I'm on strike.
Really piling on Russ there, Krik. Totally understandable.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I just listened to an Ahmadinejad rant at the UN General Assembly, including with the homophobic tint. You're so much nice during the Friendship week, when you're not clenching. Your copying/pasting of my record demonstrates the highest level of arithmetical dexterity you've demonstrated thus far in this very league. MAYBE spending a little less time perfecting your anti-TMS rants, and a little more toward your perennially disappointing roster would lead to the actual success you pretend to have. But that's fine. You're on your way to the conso bracket, and I suspect you'll get a chance to prove your skill there.
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