ESPN Line: GFLS -5.1
Wow, ESPN doesn't like these teams very much, as evidenced in the projections, but I am an optimist and see two squads with some real upside.
The first upsaide has to be Alan's only win last week. Congrats, man. I know how it feels to be at 1-8, when every win is like 1000 less pounds on your fantasy chest. By the way, does your fantasy chest have large shaven pctoral muscles, too?
Juris has a nice stable of potential keepers with the common theme of "when are they truly gonna break out?" I mean, Ryan Mathews - what the fuck is up? He looks dynamic and fast and gets tons of carries. Where is the consistency? I love Dwayne Bowe like I loved the Olsen twins in the 90's. Call me in a few years. The guy needs a QB. And then there's Demaryius Thomas, who seems most on track to be amazing. Solid TE, flex and QB round out the rooster :), but without any flash you end up with 0.100 win percentage.
My western brother, Patrick has a similar plight - guys that should produce, regularly dropping a deuce on the gridiron. Fortunately, they soil themselves less often than the guys on Juris. The big bright spots are Manning followed by Austin. They get you what you need. It is just too bad you have to field Fred Jackson. That is guy I just don't trust.
Five fingers make a Fist: 90-83
Nth Degree (3-6) vs. Champeens (3-6)
ESPN Line: Nth -29.1
Prayer of the middling CKL team (yes, get ready for blasphemy):
Dear Lord, please shine your grace upon my rag-tag bunch of loser, so that I don't have live with the fact that I lost to The Rookie/Mark this year. I swear I will stop masturbating to hot girls dressed as nuns and promise to spend my extra cash on tithing instead of black market oxycontin. If you can just let Cam/Stafford perform like the goddamn projection said, I...oh, sorry about the name in vain thing, man. Any way, could you just ask sweet baby Jesus to kiss Cruz/Nicks' head instead of Nicks/Cruz's head in the Giants game? And would it be too much to ask that you bless on my waiver wire pick instaed of his? Thanks a ton in advance.
P.S. Oh, and God, could you give me, like 2 hours notice before the apocalypse? I'm worried about pooping my pants and want to clear the system before fire rains down from the sky.
P.P.S Also, how about a sign or two to help steer us in the right direction down here like you did back in the day? I mean, why can't we have some love like Moses or even Belshazzar. A little help, buddy!
Nth wins in a close one: 102-101
My main man, Belshazzar. Dropping crazy biblical references...ooooo.
Double O-Daddy (7-2) vs. Pink Nightmare (6-3)
ESPN Line: DOOD - 10
The Pink - Daddy smack board has gotten a little firey already. Chad is hotter than Hansel right now, but Kendall, well, is Kendall.
So, who get's the last laugh on the smack board? Normally, that would be a tough question or an easy answer in Kendall's favor. But this year, it is all about the Double O-Daddy. Chad rolls in with the points total lead and a win streak. He has made more trades than I ever remember and they have all turned to gold (there is the curse for Jammy-C). And he's got no less than 6 players that could be keepers in this league. He appears to be the team to beat as long as Doug Martin doesn't get angry, turn green and start smashing through cinder block walls. It is a tough road to hoe for Pink.
K-man's team looks to be fading a bit, but you'd be a fool to write them off. Foster and Green are dangerous every week. Josh Freeman is showing some chops. He'll need one, if not two of them to go off to pull out the win. Could happen, but I gotta go with the odds on this one.
DOOD: 110-97
Here's my curse
Brilliant.
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