Week 9 Predictions and Projections

Hola Amigos!  Welcome to week 9 (see, I do know what week it is, unlike last week when I started as week 7).  I'll also, ask your pardon once again for my tardiness.  It has been a trying three weeks and I miss the constant reprieve of the CKL.    Promise to get back in the mix soon and insult you all properly on a regular basis.  But let's get to these predictions, eh?

Nth Degree (3-5) versus Juris United (0-8)
ESPN Line: Nth -5.2

This week's fugliest game comes has Alan flexing Lance Moore with both Greene and Crabtree, who have shown improvemet, on a bye.  So why not let Titus crack the lineup?  He seems to be breaking out a bit.  Lord knows Megatron isn't getting the looks.  But perhaps Alan isn't into looks.  At 0-8 he is already 5 beers into a bender and prepared to slip the hot beef injection into the fugly lady's even uglier best friend.

But Ryan Matthews has a sweet matchup and the Peyton to Demaryius (yee-us?) connection looking pretty special.  Could this be the week?  Will the scales of justice finally swing for Juris?  That zero is starting to heat up like a cattle brand, Alan.  You don't want that seared into your skin for eternity in this league.  Break the streak.

Rook is grasping at straws to stay mathmatically possible for the playoffs.  He has also started the "fire sale if I lose" talk on the smack board (and I have stopped my Newton is a beast arrogance as well).  Sorry for putting that curse on Cruz last week Rookie.  I really do think will score 15+ every week and that is my call again.  Newton can always perform as well, but I'd be tempted to roll with Raplisberger's hot hand (you knw, the one he uses to sexually assault women - see you in hell, bastard, how dare you sully such a fine first name).  Denarius (see, no y) and Gates will score plenty to help get the W

Nth's hopes stay alive and Juris fall deeper in despair.

105 - 87


Kick Azz Giants (3-5) versus Champeens (3-5)
ESPN Line: Peens - 26.1

Having been called the worst team in the league earlier this year, Mark has assembled a nice little rooster (never living that down Mr. Whitt).  Vick, Forte and Shorts are all solid.  Nicks and Brown are both getting more involved after an injury rest.  Lloyd is on the bench, but the Cecil purchase make it inconsequential.  It's nothing flashy, but Mark has gone to see a man about a horse and come back with a used car.  Sure, it only uses 4 of the original 8 cylinders, but with a little more effort, he may be able to trade up to something that   doesn't smell like hookers turn tricks in the back seat.

I love Canada.

Doc's team logo is appropriate if it were the last 10 minutes of the movie.  You know, the Predator is bleeding day-glow green and punches in that self-destruct code?  Yeah, you think you are gonna take Arnold with you, but he just runs real fast and jumps through the air at the last minute.  You'd think these action hero film antagonists would learn, but there's Schwarzenegger again escaping by the skin of his gap-toothed Austrian teeth.

The KAG wanna play spoiler and I am sure it will happen a few times before the year is over.  CJ1K has decided he wants to run fast again, which is always dangerous.  And if those damned red letters would just go away, he'd have some serviceable options.  I just don't think it is enough this week.

'Peens 94 - KAG 86


Pink Nightmare versus Achilles Heels: The Gay Fest..er Friendship
ESPN Line: Pink -2.9

Ah, the Friendship: CKL's ode to man on man love.  It is both a high and low point of every year, depending on your perspective.  Personally, I love The Friendship and all its double meaning, pseudo smack talk.    This year's original poem alone is enough to make me question my own sexuality, but make Kendall and Kirk's pretty unquestionable.  I would say that I wish I had a friendship like you two have, but I have two rules about my male friends: 1. Don't let your friend suck your dick.  and 2. Don't let your friend suck your dick.

No, I am kidding.  I know it is all a joke.  Besides, there is nothing in my rules that says I can't give my friend head.  And beneath it all, this rivalry is important to Kendall and Kirk.  And it is an interesting matchup this year.

Kirk continues to struggle despite his big guns and Kendall has defied all tales of his early season demise.  Without bye consideration, you might even say Kirk has the better rooster.  But alas, the Heels have both Hernandez and Gore out this week.  Kendall's only weak spot appears to be at QB (and maybe flex), but if Freeman performs, there is no chance he loses.  But Pink still has to be concerned for the big play ability of Discount Double Check, Purple Jesus, and Mike Wallace (does he have a nickname?).  There is a chance, but I wouldn't put my money where my mouth is...which is not on another man's penis like you guys' is.

Pink wins 103 - 87