Week 13 Predictions and Promises - Countdown to Playoffs

Oh the pressure and tension in air.  Lots of new blood on the cusp of their first playoff run.  It would be so fun to have the three and three mix of us blue division new comers and the orange old guard.  But as Kendall demonstrated, no one is safe and Kirk is skulking around the dark, back alley like a methed-out tranny prostitute.  Which song will your Under Pressure bass line lead into?

Wanna be a Rock and Roll Hall of Famer or a skinny white joke of a rapper?  Hey man, I appreciate the cultural significance and love, but you know in your heart it is hilarious, not good.

Kirk and I plan to wrap the regular season with our weekly predictions as well as a prediction for the playoffs.  Here goes.

Roo Tang Clan (5-7) vs. Achilles Heels (4-8): A Quilt of You Bitches

ESPN Line: Heels - 18.8

Well, all those fireworks about the Jenna apparently started a raging fire that quickly burned Kirk's points edge up.  What happened, man?  And can we at least agree that the twist fired up league and made things interesting in an otherwise cut and dried year for playoff seperation.  You know it has been fun.  Admit it.

Kirk and Joe both roll in with the Stone of Shame and hoping by some miracle the CKL gods give them the Stone of Triumph.

These guys have good teams with bad fortunes.  It's been said a million times.  So who gets to be less unfortunate.  My head says Kirk, but my heart says Joe.  Kirk has the recognizable players, while Joe has the effort and upside.  Kirk has greasy hair and Joe has Mr. Fantastic hair.  Kirk sells cars and Joe sells shoes.  Kirk likes the letter X in his kids names and Joe starts all his with the letter L.  Kirk gets drunk and pukes in my car while Joe gets drunk and pukes in my toilet after singing to it.  It is just so hard to choose.

Gotta go with Joe here, riding a wave of young talent.  Kirk runs into frustration as the Packers / Vikes rivalry turns into a low scoring affair.

Roo 103, Heels 90



Thunder BEAR/BUCCANEER (9-3) vs. Kick Azz Giants (5-7)

ESPN Line:  TBear - 13.1

No team looks stronger and more likely to garner the #1 seed than Nathan's Thunder.  He loves Dougie Fresh so much that he renamed his team the TBucs.  And for good reason.  A rookie RB as the #2 fantasy back?  Unbelievable!  And a rookie QB as #1 scorer overall?  Un-fucking-believable!  You look like a drafting genius Nate.

On the other hand, Doc's legendary magic seems to have finally run out this year.  Lots of injuries and not a lot of hope.  The KAG is storing up keeper nuts for the offseason in hopes of a revival in 2013.  It's not a gimme for Nathan, but the odds are stacked pretty heavily against Derrick.

 

TBEAR/BUC 121, KAG 96

Barclay Street Bruisers (9-3) vs. Nth Degree (3-9)

ESPN Line: Nth - 3

I have been watching the Nth Degree devolve this year like a hunk of prime rib rotting in the sun.  At this point I feel like someone has tied me with a full port-a-potty on one side and the decayed beef on the other.  It stinks and I can hardly breath, but thank god I am not locked inside that port-a-potty with Alan.  And hey, maybe in some crazy land rotten meat is a delicacy.  I mean, just because I don't like Roddy White of Run DMC doesn't mean they won't be tasty in the short term.

So, Paul should win this affair despite the shocking ESPN line.  I like Luck, Rice and Ridley (and curse you for shelling out more bones than me for Moreno, who will sit on the bench).  It might be close, as I am still a little iffy on rolling with two Green Bay receivers, but the Rookie is in a death spiral that seems impossible to pull out of.

No, not that.  This:

Bruisers 112, Nth 91


So, now on to the playoff predictions.  Here is what I see happening:

1. Obviously Nathan and Paul are winners, so they are in.  Both 10-3 
2. I remain optimistic and confident, so I'm not afraid to pick myself over Norris.  Ben 10-3, Norris 8-5
3. Pink beats Juris.  Kendall at 10-3, but Paul passes him on points.
4. Then it gets interesting: Mark beats Chad to send OOD to 8-5 as well.
5. Kirk doesn't close the gap and the six above make it in.

• Nathan is #1 seed
• Ben #2
• Paul #3
• Kendall #4
• Norris #5
• Chad #6

• Paul calls out Chad in round one, but loses
• Norris takes down Kendall
• Nathan chooses Chad and wins
• Norris beats me in the rematch (I am not that confident)
• BEAR over Penguin in the finals

Adios, amigos.  Looking forward to a fun week of football.