Wednesday FAABnalysis -- 11/20/13

Otherwise known as the shortest FAABnalysis in the history of the Universe.

The CKL trade deadline came and went this morning without a whole lot of fanfare.  Really, we had what I'd consider to be two deadline deals:

TMS traded Larry Fitzgerald, Ari WR to OOD
TMS traded Nick Foles, Phi QB to OOD
OOD traded Matt Ryan, Atl QB to TMS
OOD traded Andre Johnson, Hou WR to TMS

Did Chad upgrade his quarterback position?  Yes, probably.  But only for the short term, I'd say.  Foles' schedule down the stretch: bye, ARZ, DET, @MIN, CHI.  The Lions and Vikings games could be pointsplosions that help propel Dublo Daddy into the playoffs and past the first round.  Giving up a white-hot Andre Johnson and bringing back a sputtering Larry Fitzgerald is the rub here.  Ultimately, Russ gave up a backup QB in order to massively upgrade one of his WR positions.  Great deal for the Stick, jury's out for the DOD.

TREX traded Coby Fleener, Ind TE to BEN
BEN traded Heath Miller, Pit TE to TREX
BEN traded Dwayne Bowe, KC WR to TREX

Ben went out and upgraded his tight end position (really his only weak spot) while giving Rookie an outside crack at a semi-decent keeper in Bowe.  A ho-hum deal that I am chomping down sour grapes over (as I was ready to go hard after Fleener, had Rook given me that opportunity).  Whelp, that friendship is over.  You guys want a proper HATE BOWL?  Wait 'til next year.  I'll be back to calling Aaron "a colostomy bag filled with semen," et al.  Fuck you, the Rookie.  Yeah, that's right, bitch.  I just weaponized the article "the."  And that's just the tip of the titanic iceberg I'm going to ride up your ass, you sad sack of paraplegic's feces.

Anyway, it wasn't the Blockbuster Tuesday we've had in years past.  And while I know firsthand that there was frantic and frenetic gchatting and phonecalling this morning, no 11th hour deals were swung.  Still, 22 trades is something to be proud of.  Here's the scoreboard:

Kendall - 7 trades
Joe - 6 trades
Rookie - 6 trades
Ben - 5 trades
Russ - 4 trades
Patrick - 4 trades
Chad - 3 trades
Nathan - 3 trades
Paul - 3 trades
Alan - 2 trades
Norris - 1 trade
Kirk - 0 trades
Mark - 0 trades
Derrick - 0 trades

I only shared that because I knew I'd be at the top.

But remember, from the CKL Charter:

The CKL prides itself on being a trade-happy league.

Anyway, this is FAABnalysis, not TRADEnalysis, so let's get on with it.

Soundtrack:

If you hear Walk of Life or Sultans of Swing, it's guaranteed to be a good day.  You're welcome.  Fucker.


-- 12 claims
-- 4 cash claims
-- $12 total FAAB money spent
-- $3.00 average per cash grab

On to the claims claim...

Mike Glennon -- $5 to Chad
Dropped: Chris Givens
Other Bids: $1 to Patrick, $0 to Ben
Looks like Chadwick is going to a two-QB rotation, with Foles and Glennon.  I bet he now has the longest combined neck of any QB/backup combo in the CKL... by at least a 3:1 ratio.  These two dudes have giraffe necks.  It's freaky.
Grade: B (Glennon was an INT machine at NC State, but he's playing okay for the Bucs and has some juicy matchups ahead)

Yeahbuddy.  Chicks dig Mekaneck.  Because... you know...
THEY CAN STICK HIM INTO THEIR VAGINAS LIKE A DILDO.

Dumpster Diving...

Brad Jones, $3 to Nathan -- He's going to produce and produce HARD down the stretch.  RAWKHARD.

Eric Berry, $3 to Russ -- Yeeeeeeaaaaaah, okay.  I'm only highlighting this because it's tied for the second-biggest claim of the week.  Ordinarily, I'd skip it.  The older the Berry, the sweeter the juice.

Carson Palmer, $1 to Patrick -- I want to break the pact we struck for the Era of Stasis and suggest one rule change for 2014: Carson Palmer is banished from the league.

Look very, very closely.

Joel Dreessen, $0 to Paul -- Paulie caught us (me) napping.  Nice work, Mr. Gilbert.  Good one.

Brandon Pettigrew, $0 to Kendall -- I might need a tight end this week.  'Grew should be good for something north of a goose egg, hopefully.

Terrelle Pryor, $0 to Ben -- Dammit.  Good claim Ben.  How'd I forget that he was dropped?

Best Claims Available on Rebound Friday
-- QB Andy Dalton
-- WR Marquise Goodwin
-- WR Aldrick Robinson
-- WR Ted Ginn
-- TE Mychal Rivera

This ain't a talent pool, it's a dust basin.

Remaining Budgets
Kick Azz Giants -- $46
Pink Nightmare -- $21
The Magic Stick -- $20
Double-O Daddy -- $18
THUNDER BEAR -- $8
The Champeens -- $5
Sic Semper Tyrannis Rex -- $4
Jesus the Moose -- $3
The Sexy Badasses -- $3
Glitterfist Lasersnakes -- $1

Everyone else is SPENT.

Top-10 Biggest Claims of the Season
1) Nick Foles -- $58 to Ben on 10/16/13
2) Willis McGahee -- $55 to Paul on 9/20/13
3) Joseph Randle -- $51 to Norris on 10/16/13
4) Harry Douglas -- $40 to Kendall on 10/9/13
5) Marvin Jones -- $39 to Kirk on 10/30/13
6) Mike James -- $31 to Norris on 10/23/13
7) Brandon Jacobs -- $27 to Patrick on 10/16/13
8) Jason Campbell -- $25 to Mark on 10/30/13
9) Jake Locker -- $22 to Paul on 10/2/13
10) Chris Ogbonnaya -- $21 to Patrick on 10/16/13
10) Felix Jones -- $21 to Rookie on 9/18/13



That's it for this week's edition, but as always, remember...

GOTTA SPEND TO WIN!