Week 10 Predictions and Promises

Ah, the unenviable position of following Nathan's Nits.  Was anyone else's mind blown by that last post?  Why do we even bother with the predictions when Nate is dropping so much science on us?  I mean, literal science.  And how long until Kendall and Nathan pair up to write a fantasy blog aimed at the general public?  Seriously guys, between Nathan's stats and Kendall's funny and both of your football knowledge, it would surely be a hit.

Work that out and I will expect a 2% fee for thinking it up.

My second child will be here on Tuesday, Judith needs my help a ton, work is crazy and my mom will be here tomorrow.  So, sorry if this seems a little mailed in.

Onward and upward.

Sexy Badasses (5-4) vs. Voodoo Brown (5-4)

Hot damn, is it ever a scramble to make the playoffs!  Joe and Kirk both find themselves just barely on the winning side of .500 - square in the hunt.  And as Nathan mentioned Joe's turn-around and "hotness" sure is inspiring.  By comparison, Kirk's fizzle and injury status is the reciprocal - kinda makes your dick go limp.  Maybe that's why the Badasses keep teasing us with those tasty logo pics.  Need some mojo for that dinky wang.

The Voodoo is on a roll and seem near unstoppable as of late.  The trusted stalwarts of Luck and Graham mixed with the new, surprising blood of Zac, Keenan and Ellington is working like a charm.  But I am not sure I am 100% a believer quite yet in these newbies.  Stacy I can get behind, but the other two just have too much flash-in-a-pan-ability for my taste.

I gotta think roster of (remaining) known commodities will eventually fall into form.  AP already dropped close to 20; Flacco will surely start looking like last years' Super Bowl MVP; Mike Wallace has to catch a TD eventually; and CJ could do what he did last week without warning.  Then again, we all see where Sexy needs to go - plan for the future.  You have a decent team, but you need to diversify and open your doors beyond AP and Rodgers.

Still, I go Sexy Badasses this week by a narrow margin.

THUNDER Bear (4-5) vs. Kick Azz Giants (1-8) 

I feel for you after last week, Derrick and can't imagine how your side of Sunday night must have felt.  I went to bed pissed off after watching Vinatieri miss a field goal and then sit on the sidelines for two separate 2-point conversions when I was down by less than a point.  Naturally, the score adjustment made my Monday morning.  So, if you experienced the opposite...ugh.  What's the KAG got to do to win a fucking game?

This week, things look bleak.  Gronk and Ridley on bye while RGIII goes off for 27.  It doesn't look promising.  Then again, the comeback you put together last week was pretty damn impressive.

But Nate is at full strength and must be feeling some sort of confidence to write an opus like the Nits this week.  I'd feel guilty not picking him after that beauty.

THUNDER by 12

 

Pink Nightmare (8-1) vs. Juris United (3-6)

Writing this prediction will just be going through the paces.  No offense Alan, but Kendall is just too strong, too crafty, and too consistent to lose this game.  The guys has enough balls to start Andy Dalton over Romo when the Cowboys will almost certainly be in a shootout with the Saints.  What did the five fingers say to the face, Alan?  Just disrespectful.

So the Nightmare wins another one, but in less glorious fashion, because Jammy C is on bye, Ben Tate is a handcuff, and Red Rifle gets the nod just to make Kendall even prouder to be a Bengals fan.

15 points