Meanwhile, I'm punting on money-themed and Wednesday-themed songs. Fuck that noise. You get a soundtrack that I want you to get, and you're going to like it.
Yawn. Stats.
-- 17 claims
-- 14 cash claims
-- $119 total FAAB money spent
-- $8.50 average per cash grab
On to the claims, quickly...
Dropped: Brandon LaFell
Other Bids: $8 to Joe, $8 to Norris, $1 to Nathan
Yeah, yeah, a massive overbid. I honestly thought there'd be some big money flying around on this one, in light of the news about Julio Jones. Douglas is in line for a bunch of targets now, right? Honestly, I didn't think I'd win this auction, and I'm embarrassed that I did. I just hope it works out better than the Kevin Ogletree claim worked out for me last season. *sigh* Harry Douglas. Still a porn star name. (By the way, according to Urban Dictionary, a "hairy douglas" is: The act in which you blow your load in your bitch's face, then shave your pubes all over her, so it looks like she has a beard. Yikes.)
ClaimGrade: F
 |
| Imagine Bartley as a porn star. |
Garrett Graham -- $17 to Nathan
Dropped: Kendall Wright
Other Bids: $14 to Alan, $12 to Mark, $8 to Russ, $4 to Joe, $2 to Chad
Sanity is returned to the auctions. Graham is a nice-looking young tight end who benefits directly from Owen Daniels' trip to the IR (with designation to return). Now if Matt Schaub can avoid throwing backbreaking pick sixes long enough to get Graham the ball... Nathan will have a solid starter at the position, bare minimum.
Dropped: Kendall Wright
Other Bids: $14 to Alan, $12 to Mark, $8 to Russ, $4 to Joe, $2 to Chad
Sanity is returned to the auctions. Graham is a nice-looking young tight end who benefits directly from Owen Daniels' trip to the IR (with designation to return). Now if Matt Schaub can avoid throwing backbreaking pick sixes long enough to get Graham the ball... Nathan will have a solid starter at the position, bare minimum.
ClaimGrade: A
 |
| In case you haven't seen this already. |
Austin Pettis -- $12 to Kirk
Dropped: Brian Hoyer
Other Bids: $10 to Patrick, $9 to Alan, $8 to Joe, $0 to Rookie
Another totally sane action. Pettis is [weirdly] emerging as the go-to guy in the Rams passing offense. That and a saltine cracker will give you a nice midday snack. But all jokes aside, I think Pettis is a bye week helper, for sure. And if he can iron out the drops and the Rams get just a little more competent, he could quietly creep toward WR2 status.
Dropped: Brian Hoyer
Other Bids: $10 to Patrick, $9 to Alan, $8 to Joe, $0 to Rookie
Another totally sane action. Pettis is [weirdly] emerging as the go-to guy in the Rams passing offense. That and a saltine cracker will give you a nice midday snack. But all jokes aside, I think Pettis is a bye week helper, for sure. And if he can iron out the drops and the Rams get just a little more competent, he could quietly creep toward WR2 status.
ClaimGrade: B+
 |
| Austin Pettis, x3, with colby jack on his head. |
Erin Henderson -- $9 to Mark
Dropped: Zach Brown
Other Bids: $4 to Ben, $4 to Paul, $0 to Patrick
November 17th - Vikings @ Seahawks. Maybe Erin can tackle Christine, and I can get a boner.
Dropped: Zach Brown
Other Bids: $4 to Ben, $4 to Paul, $0 to Patrick
November 17th - Vikings @ Seahawks. Maybe Erin can tackle Christine, and I can get a boner.
ClaimGrade: C+
 |
| Go get her, Erin. |
Brent Celek -- $8 to Mark
Dropped: E.J. Manuel
Other Bids: none
Martellus Bennett has the red Q, and Mark needed someone to plug & play. Celek is usually pretty good in that role. $8 might have been an overbid... but I won't cast that stone from within my glass palace.
Dropped: E.J. Manuel
Other Bids: none
Martellus Bennett has the red Q, and Mark needed someone to plug & play. Celek is usually pretty good in that role. $8 might have been an overbid... but I won't cast that stone from within my glass palace.
ClaimGrade: C
 |
| How predictable was this picture? I mean, really? |
Marcel Reece -- $6 to Wookie
Dropped: Rookie had an open spot after his trade with Ben on Sunday afternoon.
Other Bids: $4 to Joe
It's fun, watching the Dancing Bear yo-yo on and off of Rookie's roster. It's totally shitty that Run DMC requires two handcuffs. Ultimately, I think Reece is the guy to own in the backfield.
Dropped: Rookie had an open spot after his trade with Ben on Sunday afternoon.
Other Bids: $4 to Joe
It's fun, watching the Dancing Bear yo-yo on and off of Rookie's roster. It's totally shitty that Run DMC requires two handcuffs. Ultimately, I think Reece is the guy to own in the backfield.
ClaimGrade: B
 |
| No, not THAT kind of dancing bear! |
Terrell Suggs -- $5 to Norris
Dropped: Chris Ogbonnaya
Other Bids: $5 to Ben, $0 to Paul
I hear this cat gets a lot of sacks?
Dropped: Chris Ogbonnaya
Other Bids: $5 to Ben, $0 to Paul
I hear this cat gets a lot of sacks?
ClaimGrade: B+
 |
| Sacks, plus a friend to animals! |
Dropped: Isaiah Pead
Other Bids:none
Henne? Really? Matt Ryan's on a bye, and Chad needed a QB. But Henne? Why not Nick Foles or Brandon Weeden? I guess Henne is up against the Broncos and their statistically shaky pass D... and looking at a lot of potentially tasty garbage time throws against the Denver second string. Actually, thinking it through, there's a little bit of genius in this claim by Chad. Hmmmm.
ClaimGrade: ?
Dumpster Diving...
Mason Crosby, $4 to Mark -- He's back to being competent, and you know he'll get plenty of chances. Great claim by Mark.
Golden Tate, $3 to Rookie -- It's okay, Rookie. Maybe we should form a support group or something. I believe too!
Josh Freeman, $3 to Joe -- Let the rock-kicking continue! But this one is pretty interesting. Can't wait to see what happens with Freeman in Minny for $3,000,000.00 for 12 games.
Mason Foster, $3 to Patrick -- Slick.
Mike Glennon, $2 to Joe -- Huh? All this dude does is throw interceptions.
Tyler Eifert, $2 to Chad -- Daniels is out, Charles Clay is on bye, and Chad needed somebody to start this week. Eifert is slowwwwwwwwwly outpacing Jermaine Gresham for looks in the Bungles passing game, and he's due a TD. Why not this week?
Jerome Simpson, $0 to Nathan -- Airwolf!
Best Claims Available on Friday
"Hubris, thy name is Howell."
-- QB Nick Foles
-- RB Mike Goodson
-- WR Donnie Avery
-- WR Jeremy Kerley
-- WR Jerricho Cotchery
-- WR Kendall Wright
-- WR Cole Beasley
-- TE Jordan Reed
-- LB Perry Riley
-- LB Curtis Lofton
-- K Adam Vinatieri
"Hubris, thy name is Howell."
-- QB Nick Foles
-- RB Mike Goodson
-- WR Donnie Avery
-- WR Jeremy Kerley
-- WR Jerricho Cotchery
-- WR Kendall Wright
-- WR Cole Beasley
-- TE Jordan Reed
-- LB Perry Riley
-- LB Curtis Lofton
-- K Adam Vinatieri
Remaining Budgets
Blackpool Penguins -- $83
Jesus the Moose -- $82
Glitterfist Lasersnakes -- $80
Kick Azz Giants -- $76
The Magic Stick -- $74
Double-O Daddy -- $69
The Sexy Badasses -- $68
THUNDER BEAR -- $61
Juris United -- $57
The Champeens -- $54
Pink Nightmare -- $35
Sic Semper Tyrannis Rex -- $25
Voodoo Brown -- $14
Barclay Street Bruisers -- $12
Blackpool Penguins -- $83
Jesus the Moose -- $82
Glitterfist Lasersnakes -- $80
Kick Azz Giants -- $76
The Magic Stick -- $74
Double-O Daddy -- $69
The Sexy Badasses -- $68
THUNDER BEAR -- $61
Juris United -- $57
The Champeens -- $54
Pink Nightmare -- $35
Sic Semper Tyrannis Rex -- $25
Voodoo Brown -- $14
Barclay Street Bruisers -- $12
1) Willis McGahee -- $55 to Paul on 9/20/13
2) Harry Douglas -- $40 to Kendall on 10/9/13
3) Jake Locker -- $22 to Paul on 10/2/13
4) Felix Jones -- $21 to Rookie on 9/18/13
5) James Starks -- $20 to Joe on 9/18/13
6) E.J. Manuel -- $18 to Mark on 9/20/13
7) Garrett Graham -- $17 to Nathan on 10/9/13
8) Rashad Jennings -- $16 to Rookie on 10/2/13
9) Jonathan Franklin -- $15 to Alan on 9/25/13
9) Donald Brown -- $15 to Kirk on 9/14/13
That's it for this week's edition, but as always, remember...
GOTTA SPEND TO WIN!
Really enjoyed the song. What impresses me most about Airwolf is how he instinctively grabs a bit of the helmet, which is just the friction he needs to go from pile driver to perfectly executed flip.
ReplyDeleteThe guy...I mean come on...he's....just....